A Work Emergency

Yesterday I got a very serious call. A work emergency. No, no one died, there were no shifts to cover, no press releases to pen. Even more grave. Recipes must be tested. The whole staff at Foodista needed to band together in baking and cooking our way through fourteen deliriously delicious recipes that are being considered for the soon-to-be published cookbook. When do they need to be completed? The week’s end. What day is it, again? Oh right, Friday.

What I heard: “Umm, Andrea…Willy Wonka’s sick today and he’s going to be needing you to head over to the Chocolate Factory and taste test all of the candy. Oh, and we’ll be paying you for it.” So we classify licking bowls of chocolate custard, stirring pots of bubbling caramel, and nibbles of puff pastry, work?

I’m not one to buckle under pressure. After all, I’ve been through my fair share of life emergencies. Pouring an overflowing bowl of cereal only to realize there’s only about two tablespoons of milk left in the jug. Getting dressed and discovering my favorite jeans are in the washing machine. A pimple on the day of prom. Working on a film set where the director threatens to quit because the craft service table wasn’t stocked with his favorite Trident gum. All very pressing matters.

I signed myself up for four recipes. Within seven minutes, I was suited in my finest sweats, armed with a double-sided grocery list, and on my way to the market. If I was already rather business-like at the market, yesterday I was the Spencer Pratt of Safeway, desperate and offensive.

Once home, $65 worth of baking ingredients in tow, I got busy on the desserts.

Yes, that’s bacon. I didn’t say I was baking your typical American sweets. Operation overload my senses with sugar in full swing. First up? Make the creamy ricotta filling for flaky berry danishes.

Piping hot and puffed from the oven, topped with poached berries, sliced almonds, and a dusting of snow, I mean sugar.

Next on the agenda: prepare the rye bread crumble for an utterly unique Russian trifle.

And then I was busy rolling out homemade pastry dough and shaping it into miniature pies.

Excuse me, what’s that you’ve got inside your crescent belly?

Chocolate custard?

Uncle Jessie: “Have mercyyyy”

Eight hours later, bowls toppling out of my sink, flour in my hair, and a seemingly permanent chocolate mustache later, I found myself with one last emergency: What the hell am I going to do with six danishes, four servings of trifle, and 12 hand pies? And when does the overpowering aroma of warm pie stop wafting through my apartment? Because I think that’s when the perpetual hunger will subside.

No time to waste. I’ve got bacon caramels bubbling on the stove. And a boyfriend who may or may not love the World Cup more than me.

Comments

  1. says

    Wow, your day was definitely eventful. I can’t imagine having to bake all of that in such little time. But you make it look so effortlessly! The danish looks amazing. Way to take the challenge and tackle it head on!

  2. M.J. Jacobsen says

    I’d definitely buckle under that kind of pressure! Beautiful creations!
    Now, enjoy some sunshine, and the World Cup!

  3. says

    I would love a work emergency like that but unfortunately mine involve money in large increments which is not fun at all. All look gorg but the Russian Trifle is my fave. I want to see this bacon creation!

  4. says

    What an amazing emergency!! So glad you stayed cool under the pressure 😉 Everything that you made looks AMAZING! All I can say is that I wish I lived in Seattle — because I would definitely help you find a use for the 6 danishes, 4 servings of trifle, and 12 hand pies you’ve got hanging around your kitchen.

    Also — I made your congo bars!! Or, at least a variation of them (Sadly, I have some family members that hate nuts.) But the cookie base was the same. And it was so delicious!! Chewy, melt-in-your-mouth, sugar delight. :) Thanks so much for posting it!

    • says

      Lauren, I’m overjoyed to hear that you baked the congo bars!! That recipe is so special to me. I wish you lived closer too! We could eat nothing but pastries and bacon caramels for about a week. Okay, the desserts would run out after 1 day, but you get the point.

  5. says

    That would actually be a major work emergency for me. You want me to do what? Bake??!! (Well, I’m in marketing in an IT company, so that wouldn’t happen. They come up with other interesting requests, such as “We ‘re thinking about going to that tradeshow.” “Next year?” “No, this?” “That’s in three weeks.” “Yeah….”)
    Love blueberries. The danishes and the Russian Trifles look heavenly. What’s the white filling in the trifles? Ricotta cream?
    I’m sure they are pretty happy to have you there!
    If you ever need help eating your pastries, cookies or cakes, just email them to us. :-)

  6. says

    Hey! I just came across your blog and am now wiping the drool off of my computer. All those wonderful creations look incredible! What DID you do with all those goodies?

    p.s. I read your story and it is truly admirable and inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing it. :)

  7. says

    I am in love with your job! :) It sounds like so much fun! And all those goodies look fantastic, especially the chocolate custard crescents. They seriously look amazing enough to be straight out of a bakery!

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