My Exercise History Part 3
April 6th, 2011 § 279 Comments
In many ways, an outlook like this sounds easier said than done. But I just stopped. Quit running that very day in March of 2008 and haven’t ever done it again since. That’s three more years of living without so much as seeing anything above 4mph on the treadmill. I was elated.
E.L.A.T.E.D
I took up walking. A comfortable pace, a podcast, music, a phone conversation with a friend, sometimes outdoors, sometimes in, always in a more loving way than when I ran. Walking felt calming, soothing, like giving myself love. It didn’t feel at all punishing or brutal like the days when my joints ached on impact. I had more energy. I could walk anywhere, at any time, with anyone, in any manner.
I’ve watched the Biggest Loser in years past, and I shudder to think about how enslaved lots of contestants must feel to the gym. I read articles about how past winners (and losers) still hit the gym for upwards of two hours a day in many cases, just to maintain their weight loss. And having lost a similar amount as those folks, I know they must be nervous of stopping such a rigorous routine. Their bodies become so used to such a high calorie burn everyday, what shock would occur if they stopped? They must keep on keeping on, right? Well, no, not exactly.
Maybe lightening up on movement will mean their systems are shocked temporarily, but after a while maybe they’ll realize that when they don’t engage in excessive cardio, they’re not as famished all the time. Maybe they’re not quite so drained. Maybe moving in any way for at least a bit of time each day is enough to stay put on the scale.
So hear me and please, please, please, believe me: You do not need to kill yourself in the gym, you don’t need to run everyday, you don’t even need to own exercise equipment.
I will repeat that last bit just because, well, I can. Can somebody pass me a megaphone. Oh, thanks. Is this thing on? You do not need to kill yourself in the gym.
You do not need to run when you feel like crying, move when you feel like only a movie would restore you, power through when all you really need exists in a nap.
You must find your life first.
You must find.
Your life first.
You can walk, and you can be thin. I can honestly say that in the past three years, I can only count five times when I’ve actually done an activity where I raise my heart rate and sweat. I’ve simply walked. With my best friend Kate, with my family pug DeeDee, with Daniel, alone…And never once did I gain weight. No, I didn’t cut back on how much I was eating, no I didn’t feel remorseful, no I didn’t miss running. Not for a single solitary day.
Today, my exercise is walking to and from work, which is about 1.5 miles away from my home, so in total it’s 3 miles. I walk to local shops and restaurants, I might walk to get coffee in the morning or late afternoon when I’m convinced an iced Americano cures the blues, I’ll take a stroll with Daniel on Saturday afternoons and ask him questions about life and things that I still need to know after nearly six sweet years, or maybe I’ll do none of those things. Last weekend, for example, I didn’t leave the house more than once, and that was a car trip. Maybe the only movement that feels tender is outstretching on my not-quite-leather sofa. And really, that’s become quite alright with me. The outstretching, not the leather alternative.
The point is, you can find something you don’t hate, something you quite like, and maintain your weight. You just have to trust that if you’re doing the best you can, and you’re moving your body in some way each day, and eating well, that you will find the weight that’s true to the life you want to live. That weight should include desserts when you want them, drinks when you need them, and laying on the couch all day because your DVR talks sweeter than the pavement.
The thing is, exercise is great because it makes you feel energized and positive and mentally light. It’s a way to work the kinks out of your life, your day, your upper shoulders. You find confidence and strength in pushing your physical limits. For those reasons, and only those, it’s beautiful.
And though you will not love it everyday, it’s something you.will.do. for the rest of your life. You must. So find something that restores you. Walk. Call your friend and walk for 40 minutes on Saturday morning.
All I can share is my experience and it is this: I’m no bigger and no smaller than I ever want to be. I’m where peace met my mind and my body and then introduced them to my soul. And all I like to do is move my legs, swing my arms, and listen to podcasts on parenting and astronomy. Because maybe one day I’ll be an astronaut mom.
But I move because the world has too much to show me to stay still.
I swing my arms because I realized in seventh grade that holding them rigidly at my side makes me walk like a Ken doll. Minus the ambiguous genitalia.
I stretch upward and outward because all of life feels like it’d rather hold me tight to the Earth.
I’ve fallen down hills, in ditches, scraped my knees, and bruised my ego.
I began looking up rather than at the sidewalk.
And I’ve found her.
And she’s safe.
She’s happy.
She’s free.
You’ve done it. You finished the series. *You can now collect a sizeable monetary refund for your time.
*Prices and participation may vary.
*applause*
Thank you for this.
I needed to read this.
thank you so much. I really needed this as well. I’ve lost 60 pounds and am struggeling to lose 5-10 more. You’ve motivated to take a step back and remember my happiness and enjoying my days are more important then 5-10 silly pounds. I LOVE walks
You are truly inspirational. I have fought my own body my whole life… 40 years! I am looking forward that HAPPY but more importantly…that PEACE!
Seriously, inspiring. Moving. I’ve never read anything like this, let alone stayed tune for a blog series except for this. Thank you.
You are amazing. I think women all over would benefit from reading your posts, I know I did
wow! agreed, *applause*!
I just stumbled across this, I’ve never struggled with my weight, but none the less reading what you’ve went through is inspiring to say the least.
You are so beautiful!
Love this exercise history. I too went full boar on exercise after losing weight only to come to a screeching halt because of heel spurs. Thank you for making me feel validated that simply walking is more rewarding than any formal exercise can be!
Thanks so much, I am right in the middle of my journey and you have truly spoken what is in my head.
I needed to read this today. I needed to read this a year ago, but I don’t know that I could process and appreciate it in the same ways. Thank you.
I needed to read this. Thank you so much for inspiring those of us who think “The only way to lose this weight is to run! Everyone else is running! I have to run!” Well…I just can not run. I’ve tried numerous times, different shoes, clothes, socks…etc. Just can’t do it.
You have totally made me feel great about just walking! I love to walk and just be with me!
Thank you again for your inspiration!
I just don’t know how you could be more beutiful! You express everything so …I can’t even think of the words to use. If you wrote a book I would be the first one in line to buy it. Thank you for the inspiration.
I’m more than twice your age and have listened to so many people advice on weight loss and weight maintenance. They all want that $20 plus much,much,much more and it all comes down to why not exactly how!
You will be the best astronaut Mom in the buisness!!Thank you SOOOOOOOO MUCH!
I have really enjoyed reading these posts. You write beautifully. Walking is, hands down, my favorite form of exercise. It feels so relaxing. I have recently found a place in my life for more vigorous exercise and learned that I love it (most days), but I try to be forgiving if I just can’t seem to make it off the couch to do that strength training DVD, or if I’d rather go for a walk than go for a run.
I seemed to have stumbled upon your blog at the perfect moment. Your story was beautifully written and so compelling. I have recently lost 30lbs over the course of a year or so and am at a plateau!! Did your last bit of weight cling for dear life? If so, what did you do to lose it? Either way, your story was incredibly inspiring to me. Through the great people that will encourage me, trust in myself, and a little faith… I’ll get there. I also appreciate you touching on maintaining. Since I still have a little ways to go until my happy body weight, I know nothing about maintenance, and I have to say you definitely took out some of the fear in it all. So thanks again and I look forward to becoming part of your ever growing readers population
Thanks so much Chelsea!! I don’t really remember ever hitting a plateau, so I don’t know what advice to offer you. But I do know this: If busting through it requires more energy than you’re willing to give in the long run, don’t try to be SuperWoman. Does that make sense? I just never like to set up unreasonable routines or anything that would make life dreadful in the mean time
Thank you for sharing, I’m so lucky to have you here
This was beautifully written, and I loved the whole story—you could have even made it longer and I would have never gotten bored
Thanks for talking about this topic–it’s an ongoing struggle for so many people.
I love this part, “I’m no bigger and no smaller than I ever want to be. I’m where peace met my mind and my body and then introduced them to my soul. And all I like to do is move my legs, swing my arms, and listen to podcasts on parenting and astronomy. Because maybe one day I’ll be an astronaut mom.”
great series! so proud of you and all you’ve accomplished. thanks for being real and telling it like it is!
Awww what a great conclusion. I just have to say that those photos of you are absolutely gorgeous. Although our fitness regimes are different, I like reading posts like this because they remind me there’s no need to go balls-to-the-wall every day. Rest is a good thing, and workouts shouldn’t feel like punishment. Walking is something I definitely think I could benefit from – like you said, there are so many benefits. I think the main thing I’d gain is time to clear my head and just calm down. Thanks Andrea!
I’ll be the big 4-0 this year and with two kids under my belt I am stuck in the running rut. Because I do love to eat, I’m worried that if I stop running I’ll gain the weight back. Your journey inspired me. I’ll still run, but perhaps not so hard and perhaps not always the 5 miles a day. Thanks so much for sharing.
Great posts, girl. I am a huge believer that everyone just needs to find that one thing they love and hold on to it!
Mine will always be running (yes! I like it!), but it does pain me to hear people talk about how they HAVE to do this or HAVE to do that and if they don’t spend at least an hour in the gym, all they can eat is salad. It makes me sad because all they do is spend their life doing things that make them miserable.
This was a really really great series. I looked forward to each installment!
I’ve recently realized the same thing – you have to find the exercise routine that you LOVE, and not the exercise routine that’ll have you burn out and be miserable over. If I find that I really want to go to the gym, and I mean truly want to go, then I go. If I want to go for a long walk, then I go. If I want to try to run for a half hour straight, then I do. It’s all about doing what makes you happy in the moment.
Thank you for writing such an honest and fantastic series about something that I think pretty much everyone struggles (or has struggled) to find a balance with. ♥
Loved your series! What great insight and truth.
i love this
My husband and I normally run during spring, summer, and fall, but we kind of just hibernate in the winter, with our only activity being walking our dog and taking her out when the weather is nice enough (rare).
But I’ve been rethinking the whole running thing for this year. and I’m not sure i want to get back on that train. I like it somedays, but hate it the rest of the time. So maybe it’s time to just walk and do other things I enjoy ALL the time, like hiking and yoga.
I love this outlook on life and working out. I really hate running but do it to burn calories; maybe someday (after my wedding) I’ll find the same peace that you have.
Beautiful black & white photos!
What a breath of fresh air you always are! Most people who are “featured” for losing weight always look a good 20 pounds overweight to me. Not inspiring when you have little to lose. But you look slim, vibrant, and healthy, but most of all content. Thank you for these posts.
P,S. The Strawberry Crumble Bars were soooo good!
What a great series of posts! I have to admit that one reason I never trained for a half marathon because I was afraid that once I cut back on running I’d gain weight. I love that you found a form of exercise that makes you feel good and energized but not too exhausted to function for the rest of the day. You are an amazing example of healthy living!
Beautiful and true. Thank you so much for this series of posts.
I just love these posts. Words cannot describe the extreme distaste I found for running. It’s great to see someone maintaining without killing themselves.
These posts have been amazing Andrea! Thank you for sharing.
I do feel like one of those Biggest Loser contestants – thinking I have to spend my entire day in the gym to stay uber slim. But I had to realize that I can’t do that to myself anymore. And if that means I gain a few pounds, at least I’m out living life instead.
You are beautiful. Love your writing and continue to hope the stars align so we can meet in person one day.
I am so glad that I found your blog.
I am at the beginning of my weight loss journey and have so far to go but let me tell you, this post was super inspiring.
Thanks for the great posts! I recently lost 25 pounds and during that transition I decided that I really did not like running (no, I loathed it). So, I now walk and do yoga. I couldn’t be more happier!
Beautiful. Simply beautiful.
I stumbled upon your blog and it is so refreshing to read. I’m starting down a path of being mindful of my eating and finding a partner in crime in the midst of this. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Fabulous series Andrea. It was a pleasure going on the journey with you and I applaud your sensible approach to maintaining your healthy lifestyle, without shortchanging yourself the joys of delicous food.
BTW is that Daniel in the photo above? I thin this is the first time I’ve seen him!
Thank you Shanna!! No, it’s not Daniel. It’s Kerry Simon, a chef and rocker I met in Vegas
These posts have been just what I needed lately!! I have been going balls-to-the-wall with my workouts for the past 2 years, and really, I’m not happy. Well, I guess that’s not the entire truth; I just started TurboFire, and I think I love them…there’s a part of me that dreads them, but I think that really just resides in the fact that I have to get up before 5 am to do them…
I think it’s something I definitely need to figure out. I need to decide if it’s the workout or the TIME of the work out that I dread.
But back to the ACTUAL point! I am SO GLAD I found your blog…every post I’ve read has hit me at the exact time I needed it. Thank you so much for being so open and honest, and I hope that I too can allow myself the freedom you have someday!
Inspirational!!! What a beautiful story and so well written. Reading your blog is like a breath of fresh air. Thank you!
I’m a total stalker of your blog and I absolutely love it. What I love even more are the last three posts. You are beautiful and your blog is a breath of fresh air!
Love this!! Thanks so much for sharing. I am certain that you’ve just inspired a lot of people, myself included!
I just discovered your blog, and I’m so glad that I did. I love the way you write and express yourself.
Thank you for blogging!
I loved this series – it gives me such insight and perspective!
Andrea, You are One Hundred Billion kinds of Awesome.
Loved this series. Just wanted you to know this is one of my new favorite blogs – thanks to MelissaNibbles for sending me over.
I just found your blog two posts ago, when you started this exercise series. I was drawn in by a recipe, but these recent posts have made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
I’m a bit biased, as I have found what you have found, walking is amazing – I quite running many, many moons ago and have never once missed it. Last yeaer I did add in weight training (in my house) and that is also something I adore. Note because I log tons of hours doing it (I don’t), but I’m petite, and it makes me stronger and feel more confident. But, unlike the gym used to do, walking and weights just make me feel good, not wiped out.
Congrats on all of your success, it is inspiring to read!
I love this! I’ve loved the whole series! I love to walk too, especially while on the phone with friends. It makes the time pass so fast!
PS love the astronaut mom bit! So witty!
BEAUTIFUL POST!!!! i think *trust* is the key thing here. i lost how to trust and respect my body and regaining this is hard, but you give me hope!
Did you ever have issues with flabby skin/stretch marks?
That just made me cry it was so beautiful. It’s not often that people are actually kind to themselves. It’s all I shoulda done this, I coulda tried harder, I failed on my diet today… What courage it takes to love yourself and treat yourself kind. And so true. If you lose weight to improve your life and spend all day doing things you hate, where is the improvement?
You. Are. Amazing. Your story is so incredibly inspirational. You should be so very proud of all that you have accomplished, in mind, soul, and body.
So many people become slaves to exercise and never learn to enjoy their bodies, or life for that matter.
Thank you for saying the things that others forget to mention, but we all need to hear.
these posts are exactly what i need to hear right now. i’m working on believing your words, but I most definitely believe YOU! xoxo
So well written, thank you Andrea. And very timely, as I was sitting here feeling guilty for not working out the last three days because I had too much work to get done. But now I realize that its just a few skipped workouts, that’s all!
I’m trying to lose about 10-15 pounds; my body-fat percentage was pretty high despite me being an appropriate weight for my height. Are there any (more) tips you could share? Like, do you eat 3 big meals or 5 small, etc? Like I said I’m really trying to more lose fat than anything else. of course skipping workouts isn’t the best way to do it! Maybe you could even do a guest post?
Hey Kace! First, thank you! Second, I’d love to share more practical advice. Sounds like I should write a whole post about it
I eat 3 big meals, 2 snacks, and 1 big dessert. My biggest belief about weight loss rests in calories. Calories in versus calories out.
I’ll try to pen something this weekend. Thanks again, friend
I loved this series!!
Beautiful, simply beautiful! After I read the last posts I couldn’t wait for my husband to get home so I could tell him all about you and how inspiring you are! He hearts you too!
Makes me so so happy to hear JaNelle! Thank you thank you thank you!!
Thank you. You’re wonderful
high five!
I always wanted to know what happens when the frantic rush to lose weight ends and you’re at the finish line wondering do I do now.
This totally rings true to me. Moving should be about enjoyment and life not punishment.
Sharing this is definitely changing my world. Thank you!
I loved this series and how you real you were with us.
We are all so different, and it so nice to see someone who has found such a healthy balance. I love running, but my idea of fun is no longer running 8 miles of hills on Mondays anymore. I’d rather walk my dog and hang out with my hubby, and run maybe two of those miles instead.
What a wonderful, inspiring story Andrea. Although I’ve never had true weight problems, I feel like I still live with the “fear”–my dad passed away a few years ago, and he passed away at a very high and unhealthy weight. Those are my genes, and it scares me a lot. I can’t get my butt to the gym most days, for a number of excuses, and when I do go I’m just not happy. Trying to just be more active in a way that will fit into my life is what I’m working on right now. That’s what matters. Keep on keepin on girl, you are lovely
You are so, so beautiful.
wow Andrea…you are so great with words and I love your story and the lessons learned.
I just read all 3 parts right now and I applaud you for writing this long series and giving us a glimpse of your health journey.
P.S. when you were describing the time you spent in Europe, you’re going to laugh ok….but I was picturing YOU and Julia Roberts eating together, lol! (a scene from Eat Pray Love movie).
I just laughed out loud. I absolutely love this and love that you would even consider me in that scene
Gosh I wish. I wish I had that pasta dish that she so lovingly eats in that one scene, too. Mmm…Thanks so much Lea!
I love this so much. I don’t believe in forcing yourself to do a type of exercise you don’t like. I love jogging – that’s my thing. I’m slow, and my dad has always told me it doesn’t matter. You’re carrying the same weight over the same distance, all that matters is that you’re moving. And enjoying yourself. The rest is just details.
I love this and you so much. I’m struggling right now to accept my recent 20 pound weight gain, but I know it’s where my body should be, but it’s tough. Especially when I spent so many years trying to lose weight. Right now walking makes me feel good and it’s hard not to want to start running or going crazy in the gym. I’m going to reread these posts when I need someone to tell me to calm down and just let my body be where it wants to be. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.
“That weight should include desserts when you want them and drinks when you need them” Um…I always need drinks.
I love your story and this entire walking concept. I hate to run, unless I’m in the mood. I used to force myself to love running, it just doesn’t work, and it kills my knees. But anyways, my employer gave every employee a pedometer last year, and they entice us to move more (reduce their health spending) by giving us health account dollars based on amounts of steps – it’s a point system, and once you reach a certain level you see cash in your account. Its kind of fun because it has made me more conscious of how much I never walked around during the work day! Now I make a conscious effort to increase my steps, even it if means taking the long way to the printer! So I really believe walking really does go a long way.
What a really cool incentive plan!! I like the sounds of it and think lots more companies could benefit from establishing something similar
Andrea,
I am in exactly the same boat you were in your Camry. I’ve lost 65 pounds over the last year and am now at the obsessive state where I HAVE to go to the gym and run 6 or 7 miles at least 3 times a week, because I feel like if I don’t, I’ll immediately gain all the weight back. I’m putting working out over relationships with my friends and boyfriend; I’m tired and sore all the time; overall – I’m not living. I read all 3 parts of your story in one sitting. I am sitting here, at my kitchen table, just having gotten back from running for an hour at the gym, and tears are rolling down my face. I cannot keep doing what I’m doing – and even though this is something my friends, family, and boyfriend have been repeatedly telling me over the past few months – your blog post was like a cathartic moment. I cannot thank you enough. I just hope I have the courage to follow through with it like you did.
Thank you for this post! It is so refreshing and so honest. It also sheds light on the fact that exercise should be enjoyed. That’s something that I tend to forget. Luckily I’ve never struggled with being overweight but there are times I’m not happy with my body and I find myself thinking that I need to workout even though I don’t want to. This post is a healthy reminder that I don’t have to push through those workouts. Thanks again!
PS… I just found your blog and I can’t wait to read more!
I’ve been killing myself running.
All to lose weight.
This was such a pleasure to read.
Thank you so much.
I’m training for my 3rd marathon.
And now think it’ll be ok if I don’t run it.
[If I can't run it. I wasn't o.k with that before. It wasn't an option before.]
I’ve been killing myself to lose it.
50 pounds down. 25 to go.
Tonight I’ll walk.
For me.
Thank you. So, So much. xo E
[...] my weight. Heck, I’ve taken weeks off and did nothing and maintained my weight. This lovely lady’s thoughts on exercise also helped me reevaluate what I do. It’s a great read and I highly recommend it! You [...]
You are incredibly beautiful and I loved every line of your story. So much insight! My favorite line is definitely “I swing my arms because I realized in seventh grade that holding them rigidly at my side makes me walk like a Ken doll. Minus the ambiguous genitalia.”
You’ve inspired me… again.
thank-you
I just commented on Part 2 but this one moved me just as much, if not more. I love the way you are so free about all this stuff. I’m actually struggling with an eating disorder right now. I started out 7 years ago with anorexia and now I’m going through the binge/purge phase where I overexercise as well. Reading your stories are so amazing to me and I can’t express enough how much you inspired me, simply by just reading this story. So thank you, thank you so much.
This is just what I needed! The past few weeks I have been having a really hard time with my body and exercise. I have been training for a half marathon and took it to another level, a level of doing cardio for hours each day, which left me drained and famished. Well, needless to say my body shut down, my blood sugar went crazy and now I am left stiff sore and struggle to walk for more than a half hour without getting exhausted. It was a good wake up call that made me realize that life is not and should not be focused on food and working out. I need to listen to my body and love it and treat it the way it should be treated. I have gone through months without working out and have not gained any weight. It is always refreashing to hear others out there blog just not about being obbessed with exercise, but the opposite.
This was SUCH a good post! Just what I needed and SO inspiring! It reminds me of me because I gave up running as well. I did it to burn calories but I HATED it. Mainly becasue it hurt my back. Not so much I hated it but hated the drag of “having” to do it and the way it made my back feel! Good for you for doing what is best for you and NOT running! Walking is sooo much funner!
Brisk walks make you feel so good and free!
Lovely. Just…lovely. Thank you so much for sharing!
So, you know what I love about your writing? It’s real. It’s raw. It’s funny. It makes me laugh and think and nod my head and go yes! I agree with so many things and shift my own thoughts as well and that’s what I love about your writing.
This story is incredible, not only because it’s so empowering and moving but because it breaks the mold that I think this community – whether they realize it or not – has formed. It is OK to not be a runner. It’s OK if you hate races, the treadmill and dread a training plan. I know I tried my hand, er legs, at it and while I liked the challenge, I haven’t ran in nearly a year and I am SO much happier. I found my happy exercise and that is CrossFit. I am stronger and healthier than I ever was with 7 8 and 9 mile training runs.
Thank you for being honest and open and candid and funny. Truly refreshing and beautiful.
THis was a wonderful series, thank you so much for sharing!
[...] andrea @ can you stay for dinner? posted about her exercise history parts 1, 2, and 3. i’ve already read them each twice. she’s an amazing writer and a great inspiration for [...]
[...] – like biting my nails in anticipation kind of good – are Lisa at I’m An Okie and Andrea at Can You Stay For Dinner? They will have you giggling, smiling, thinking and loving life. Click [...]
Woo hoo. Love hearing the culmination of this story. You’re absolutely right about finding something you love. No bodies are one size fits all and I see fitness that way too. My cousin finds herself energized by running and her love of it makes her do it regularly. Fitness helps you feel better and stay well. Glad you found the speed and activity that fits for you.
I cannot even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this. I am 5’10″ and needing to lose weight. The way you expressed your thoughts was so true to life, and inspiring. I loved it when you said that height is forgiving, “but not that forgiving”! SO TRUE. I fall into the trap of thinking that if I lose weight, I’ll be happy, everything will be fine. I found your words on the matter a much needed reality check. While I need to lose weight for my health, it cannot be what my happiness hinges upon. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Your story (and your beauty) brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you to have accomplished this! I completely agree that walking is a great way to stay fit. I also like to remember “eat less/move more” and “everything in moderation.” I struggled with weight my whole life (once I was as small as size 5 but last year I was a 16). At 53 years old I learned how to hula hoop and I have lost 42 lbs since last July. I highly recommend that you find an adult sized hoop (size is super important), put on your favorite music and learn how to dance in your hoop. 15-30 minutes a day and you will have such fun AND maintain your fantastic weight loss!
I just happened to stumble across your blog. Beautiful and inspirational, thank you so much for sharing.
I lost 47 pounds about 3 years ago. When I tell people that, often I hear, “Why don’t you lose 3 more to make it an even 50?” And it’s because I’m simply happy where I am. I get the feeling from reading your wonderful story, that you are also happy where you are.
I wish you the best, you have a wonderful story!
Thank you for sharing!! Amazingly true.
I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m very nearly in tears after reading this. I’ve just finished my sophomore year of college and, at 160 lbs, I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’ve decided, exactly like you said, to make this summer my “weight-loss” summer so I can return to school thin, but after a rather devastating wake-up call as to how out-of-shape I am at the gym this past week, I lost a lot of motivation.
Seeing you be able to lose so much weight is so inspiring to those of us who find losing a mere 30 lbs daunting. Thank you for being honest and encouraging…tomorrow’s gym venture will certainly be better (:
dear lord girl – you amaze me! what an inspiration you are! it was so nice to meet you today and I would love to get together sometime – for a walk (and a fabulous lunch maybe) or a photography field trip perhaps?
have a great rest of your week,
xx
I came across your blog via pinterest and at first I thought it was yet another pro-anna pic and link. But then I started reading it and reading your story. This is the ONLY blog/article/anything about getting and staying slim that I’ve read where I don’t want to slap somebody. It is so honest and normal. You are healthy in both body and mind, what could be more inspirational than that?
Thank you.
What do you mean “pro-anna” pic and link?
I was actually looking for recipes when I came across your story/blog. Like others, read the 3 part series in one sitting. I’m soon to be 62, and while weight is not a concern, the placement of the weight is!!! I have just started a shape and tone class 3 days a week, and am enjoying it.
You have inspired many (see all your comments!)… As for my inspiration from your story, walking is a needed aspect to add to my daily routine.
I wish you well in life, and so appreciate your candor and the physical and spiritual beauty you add to our world!
I’m so impressed that you found the drive to start the process all by yourself, and while living in Italy!
I’m living in France right now and started to run again a few months ago. I’ve never been at the weight I would like to be either; reading your story is great inspiration
Thanks for sharing!
HOW did you let your self come to terms with your weight? Even when I tell myself I am happy and content some part of me, deep down doesn’t believe me. I don’t understand how you finally resolved to let go of the guilt. Great blog, I love your style and voice!
Please. Pretty pretty PLEASE with a cherry on top: write a book! I read your story in its entirety – part 1 through 3 – and in this single moment, I feel my perspective has been widened. I’m moved by your journey, as I am also on a journey (albeit of a different nature). But then again, aren’t we all? On a journey, that is? Your writing expresses this fact both beautifully and encouragingly.
Hi Andie,
. So many things in it sounded so familiar to me… I absolutely agree with you – I also love walking and I think that a gym is a sure path to injuries: you go there, work yourself too hard for 2 weeks, then pull or stretch something, and then can’t move for 2 months, and all the benefits of your labor and sweat are gone… In fact, I used to gain weight when I worked out a lot, because I felt that I could afford to eat more. I have not run at all (maybe for the bus) for the last 2.5 years, and it’s been the time of my most consistently normal weight. But I have to admit that for me it’s still a struggle to maintain it – especially since I’ve discovered how much I love cooking 
.
I am usually not into reading long posts, but I just read yours
You HAVE to write a book! You are an entertaining writer and have a great story to start with . . .
I am 5’8″ and weigh 250lbs. Three years ago, between my freshmen-sophomore year in college, I cringed at stepping on the scale and finding myself weighing 230lbs. I freaked and started exercising excessively and lost 40-50lbs within only three months. It “helped” that I began this weight-loss between the end of the semester and the summer before the next, so $0 in my bank account meant not a lot of money for food. Looking back now, I unintentionally starved myself. There was a point where I was going to the on-campus Burger King and getting ketchup packets, emptying them into a bowl, and eating that with crackers like it was tomato soup. Then I would run five miles and walk ten miles. Sadly, despite the fact that I don’t know how I didn’t just pass out randomly every five minutes from malnutrition, it was the best I had ever felt in years when I lost all that weight. Then it happened. I lost the initial weight I had planned on, and I stopped. I fell off the metaphorical too-high-of-an-incline treadmill of my life and just stopped everything. Quit working out, ate the way college students do, and I gained every bit of it back and more over the next two years. Your story speaks so much to me. The waking up, the freaking out, the revelations, then the back-tracks. Not knowing who I was or what I wanted or why nothing made me happy. I keep randomly exercising, and I’ll keep it up for a week. Then I’ll have that day that I was “just too busy to do anything considered working out, I’ll just do extra tomorrow”. But tomorrow never came. And months would go by before I remembered that I was supposed to be making myself healthier – not THINNER, but HEALTHIER.
For the past month, I have “exercised” everyday. But in a way that I KNOW I can keep it up. I walk my dog (or run around in circles in the yard with her). I get on the treadmill to songs that have that perfect beat to skip to, but usually only for 15-30 minutes every few days. I go hiking at a local park (the outdoors calls me, and it calls to my artistry too). I pace around the house to calm myself instead of stuffing my face with Doritos (deliciousdeliciousDoritos). I walk to the store that it only a mile from my apartment instead of driving the minute over there.
My point: your story brought tears to my eye because of just how much I relate to you. You inspire me. You make me realize that I don’t have to hate myself just to lose weight. It’ll just happen, as long as I just stop freaking myself out. You are beautiful in every way that I find people beautiful (and most of it is not with physical appearance). Thank you so much for this page and especially thank you for sharing your story. I hope to find my center in my life as you have.
Thank you for letting me see that I can still love myself even if I don’t run 6 miles a day anymore. Thank you.
hi!:) youve kind of just changed my life thank you:)
My friend sent me a link to your S’Mores Brownies… I thought, “I must know this woman now!” And I feel like I do. You are beautiful! I love your words, and your hatred of running (I too, am a walk-don’t runner)! I think you should also know that your story has beautiful implications for people struggling with their weight in the other direction. Happy, balanced, and fulfilled should be our goals, that and as many S’Mores as possible! Thank you for sharing your heart!
Andrea, it was great meeting you the other day and i am really really enjoying your blog! Very heartwarming to hear your story and very affirming for me, a fellow “hates to run, loves to walk-er.”
Keep it up!
I found your blog by accident, through a random “stumble” hit. In these days in which everything happens so fast, and the attention span of a human being at the computer is measured in seconds, and not that many
I found myself reading your whole recollection, unable to stop.
Your writing is honest, authentic, you get close to people with your words, a skill, a virtue that is not common.
I wish you all the best in the many many wonderful years you have ahead!
[...] my stress fracture in December, I’ve adopted a new mentality, much like Andie and Heather. In fact, these two ladies helped me more than they’ll ever know through telling [...]
Just found ur blog via RachelWilkerson.com. Read all three of your exercise series. Great to hear such a different perspective from a blogger. So glad you found peace!
Congrats!
Well I want to see the pictures of you and Mark Ruffalo and Leo!!!
Oh and awesome job losing the weight btw
I hear ya on how amazing walking feels as opposed to the discomfort and agony of running. Like you, I haven’t run in probably 3 or 4 years, for the same reasons: injury and fatigue from it. I love walking so much. And I save all my podcasts for walks. I’ll do it almost no matter the weather. Best thing ever!
Bravo! Bravo! I recently lost 50 lbs and I can’t wait to lose more. You are such an inspiration.
Hi
I just came across your blog and wow you are one amazing lady!! I loved reading your story and love that you hate running and the gym, I dislike them too. I much prefer walking! I am also on a quest to eat healthy…I am going to try your black bean enchiladas in the near future! You can check me out at http://flirtingwithtofu.blogspot.com/
Malika
I just came across your blog, and I don’t think the timing could have been more perfect. I have maintained 70 lbs of an 80 lb weight loss for the better part of 7 years. And yet, I always feel compelled to fight that last 10 pounds that my body clearly prefers to have on its frame. Lately, I feel extreme guilt on days where I do a half-way work out, or heaven forbid I skip the gym altogether. Your posts remind be that there is peace in finding balance. I hope to carry that message with me. I actually enjoy running and the gym, so long as I’m not mentally beating myself up over my intensity! Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you. Truly–thank you.
Your blog has really touched me. I have a lot of weight to lose, and have a gym membership that I haven’t used in months. I’m about to drop that membership and just go for a walk starting tonight! Keeping it simple will help me get to my goal!
I’m trying to lose weight. My starting weight was 170 and I’m down to 165. My goal weight is 125 (I’m 5’5″).
I am walking after work each night…4 miles round trip. And now I’ve added an additional walk at lunch (also 4 miles). I eat about 1500 calories a day….good calories filled with vegetables, proteins, and even some carbs. I don’t do too much sugar….just a chocolate covered biscotti in the morning that I dip in my coffee (that is flavored with hazelnut creamer). I eat 3 meals and two snacks a day (snacks include Greek yogurt, fruit, chips and salsa with avocado, string cheese, pistachios).
And I’m also doing situps and pushups 3 times a week.
But I read somewhere that you can over-train….that too much exercise makes your body stressed and makes you retain the weight.
I rest on Sundays to give myself a break and I try to get 7-8 hours of sleep each night (and more on the weekends if I can).
I just don’t want to cause my body not to lose the weight. I really need to get this excess fat off…it’s really a strain on my back and knees, etc.
Do you think that two 4-mile walks a day during the week is considered over-training?
You are singing my song! I spent about a year losing 125 pounds – that was 5 years ago. I still exercise regularly, in fact more often than while I was losing weight. But I exercise doing things I love – yoga, walking, some weight training. I do what I feel like daily – it is my time, my way of getting moving in my day.
The struggle with exercise as a requirement of maintenance can still freak me out. But your blog is so truthful, and SOOOO helpful to others! Thank you sharing these thoughts in such an honest and FUN manner.
I really needed to read this right now!! Thank you!! I very much enjoyed reading your series! You should serioulsy pen a book someday…and share your story. Very encouraging!!
A friend shared your blog with me because like her we love reading food blogs
Thank you for sharing your story! I 100% agree on everything you posted in 1, 2 & 3! 
you.
are.
beautiful.
(thank you for sharing)
<3
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I was just getting ready to delve into a bag of hershey kisses when I found your blog. I put the kisses away and grabbed a peach.
You are such an inspiration. I have about 100 lbs to lose. I know I can do it. It going to take people like you that will get me there.
Beautiful.
Simple.
Achievable.
I loved reading your story – truly.
Thank you.
M.L.
This was amazing! you are an incredible writed and i would love to hear more stories if you write like this all the time?
i wish my sister would read this and stop exercising for hours a day, because she thinks just like how you used to.
Thank you for making my day!
True story. I came across your blog because I was searching for “healthy recipes” on Pinterest. I feel like I have found a diamond in the rough. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have lost 20 pounds but need to lose about 60 more. I was just thinking, I wish I could find a blogger who speaks my language. Your story hits home and is entertaining at the same time. I can’t wait to try some of your recipes. Thank you for the inspiration and the wisdom. My goal is to be fit and healthy (and hot) but I was feeling overwhelmed at the thought that I would have to continue the hard long workouts for the rest of my life or the pounds would comeback. I know that there is truth to what you have said and I feel liberated and free and ready to burn these last pounds…all with a brighter outlook. I look forward to my healthy life. Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU!!!
Your story is very inspiring and I am beyond elated that I stumbled upon it. Thank you for sharing it with the world.
I have lost 120 lbs and all I can say is “Thank You”
Thank you for this. Thank you for every word, for every little joke, for every piece of yourself you poured into these three blog posts.
Three weeks ago..I woke up. I realized that I’m 22 years old. I’m not in college anymore. I’m out of excuses. I realized that the only way to be happy with the person looking at me in the mirror was to change her for the better. So I did. I started controlling my portions, eating healthier, and exercising. I don’t go to the gym. I don’t own any exercise equipment. I do Zumba on my Wii and get down on TurboJam. I walk while listening to the sweet sounds of NKOTBSB. And you know what? It’s working. I’ve lost 9 pounds. The number I see on the scale now is a lower number than I can remember seeing in years. I have a long way to go – but I know that I can do it and I know that, for the very first time in my entire life, I WANT to do it.
I can’t wait to be free.
Just… thanks! From the bottom of my heart
Thanks so much for sharing your experience it’s been amazing to read it!
wow. I’m not sure of the different posts that lead me to your site, but I couldn’t have happened upon your story at a better time. I, too, am starting on my own weightloss journey, very close to your starting weight and your story has just inspired me to keep on keeping on in spite of the current number on the scale.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
This was exactly what I needed to read today. My soul needed to be restored. Thank you for posting this.
Happened across your blog via Pinterest – saw the exercise link on the left-side bar. Your story (as I’m sure many have told you) is the most honest, truthful writing I have come across in my life. I have struggled with my inner-conflict of weight since I learned that girls weren’t allowed to have fat on their bodies (surprisingly, I “learned” that quite early). Your brutally forward words were just what I needed right now to slap me in the face and shout “GET A GRIP” (a phrase I am confident I use much too often). Thanks for the shove back to reality. So glad to hear that you’re one with your soul. Hoping to get there someday myself.
-Mallory
[...] you guys…HATING it. I was hating running too, which I talked about here. Then I read this great post from Andie and something clicked inside me. Specifically, it was this quote that really spoke to me (and [...]
Thank you for this. This is true motivation…i just wish my motivation would push me further and further. I struggle to loose weight. I tell myself just 50 lbs would be enough…and if you lost 135lbs then wow! I know anything you put your mind to, can be accomplished. Thank you.
Thank you! I just lost 114 lbs over the last year. And I have 33 lbs to reach my desired weight. My concern has been that I will have to sacrifice my life to always working out and I have only found one cardio exercise that I like. Your article gives me hope as I love to walk everywhere. With the changes I have made in eating style I now have confidence that my walking will be enough once I reach my goal. Thanks again.
So very grateful that I came across your blog. Thanks so much for putting the can opener to your own life, and experience, and success after feeling like you might fail. My weight struggle has been far more modest, about 35 pounds, but the details of the struggle are remarkably similar. We fall into these doctrinal mindsets that INSIST on one way of doing things in order to reach a goal. And the doctrinal mindsets are liars. LIARS. Walking has always been my preferred mode of exercise; I adore it and no longer feel guilty because I can’t get into a running routine (basically because I can’t stand running, ugh). And guess what? The weight is very slowly coming off, and I don’t hate what I’m doing to get there. Bravo girlfriend, through this sharing you have paid it forward a thousand times.
wow..
this truly touched me. you have given me hope that there is light at the end of this terribly long tunnel of fatness. you changed my life today. thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Last year I battled with an eating disorder and lost a lot of weight. Now I am maintaining a healthy weight but the struggle to not feel bad when I don’t work out or when I eat junk food is really hard to overcome. This was inspiring…maybe I’ll take up walking and drop the elliptical
I love this! I lost 50 lbs about 5 years ago now. Wow…I can’t believe it’s been that long! Anyways…the first 3 or so years, I killed myself. Then I got married, moved to a new town, got a new job, and life sort of just happened. I couldn’t kill myself to hit the gym. I actually loved working out but I loved my time with my new hubby more. Also, I had back problems (same as yours…with two procedures down so far..pain somewhat gone), and some things (like weight lifting which gave me so much joy) had to come to an end. Anyways…I did the exact same thing as you did. I told myself I was going to let my body be the weight it was happy at. Granted, I need to move more (I’ve actually been cautioned against walking too much due to the herniated discs), but life has given us an unexpected 14 month old foster child that has been giving me more moving (and loving) to do than I could of ever dreamed of. You know what? I’m heavier than I was when I lost all the weight, but I’m not unhealthy…and, more importantly, I’m unbelievably happy. There’s an old saying…maybe you’ve heard it?…”Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels”…but killing yourself to be “skinny” doesn’t “taste good” either. Thanks for the beautifully written, tug-at-my-heart-strings, you-get-me story. I. Loved. This. I. Needed. This. I. Am. Sharing. This. Keep up the great writing, and cheers to the movement, graceful or not!
Thank you so much for sharing! After reading this section and the story about what you miss from 135lbs ago, I am inspired. THere were so many thoughts or emotions you shared, that I have been struggling with myself, and it is helpful just to know that others have the same problems. Also, I have started trying to lose weight, but still have a long way to go, and seeing that you were able to so it, and then maintain without living and killing yourself in the gym is a huge motivator. My college roommate and I used to always say “i wished i liked to run” when we walked past runners who made it look so effortless. It is nice to hear from someone that you can still be successful and not run for hours a day (because honestly it hurts to run that much and isn’t enjoyable). Sorry for rambling!
I really just want to say thank you for sharing your story and it has helped me in my journey to becoming more healthy!
I have a terribly short attention span. I am the queen of skimming over articles. But I must say, I read every single word of your three part series on your exercise history. It was fascinating. It was funny. It was inspirational. It was lovely. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your life to share your story. I enjoyed every second of it, which was actually one of the biggest lessons I garnered from this. So again, thank you for sharing such a thoughtful, amazing journey with all of us.
Wow… I am almost crying after reading your story. I’m 34, 5’3″, and just saw the most unbelievable number on my new scale. For a few minutes, I thought the scale must be faulty and that I should return it to the store. 280…. That number terrifies me. I’ve known for awhile that I was bigger than ever, and desperately in need of a change. But, 280… that number has encouraged me like nothing else has. I have to join a gym. I know I can lose weight without it, but I live in the deep south where it is often just a few degrees cooler than the surface of the sun. Outdoor exercise is, at best, uncomfortable. Your story is inspiring! Thank you for sharing it with all of us. It has given me hope – I see that I don’t have to go nuts at the gym to lose weight – eat less and move more…..
You are a fantastic writer. You drew me in as if you were talking to me directly. Thank you for sharing your story – I needed to hear this. I don’t hate running, but I don’t particularly like it either and I’ve felt that I need to get through it anyway if I want to lose weight. I’m glad you’ve found the you that YOU love and are at peace with it. I hope that I’m able to achieve the same thing – and I think I’m on my way to finding it.
I just finished reading all three parts of your story and it is amazing! I am approximately your same proportions at the beginning of your journey and so hearing someone else who has been where I am and is where I want to be (and I’m not just talking about the needle on the scale !), is so encouraging! Thank you!
This is exactly what i needed to read today. I need to go work out but am feeling lazy. Your story is very encouraging. I am over weight, especially for my height, and i need to shed a few lbs. I have some joint problems and arthritis and it makes me want to stop sometimes but really i need to make my body stronger. I keep thinking in my head “this is for my future children” and that has made me work harder. Reading your blog is very encouraging. You aren’t trying to get into a bikini or be a size zero. You want to be healthy. Thank you! More females should read your blog and figure out WHY they need to lose the weight. Thank you for sharing!
- and seriously Leo and Mark! very lucky lady!
This is exactly what i needed to read today. I need to go work out but am feeling lazy. Your story is very encouraging. I am over weight, especially for my height, and i need to shed a few lbs. I have some joint problems and arthritis and it makes me want to stop sometimes but really i need to make my body stronger. I keep thinking in my head “this is for my future children” and that has made me work harder. Reading your blog is very encouraging. You aren’t trying to get into a bikini or be a size zero. You want to be healthy. Thank you! More females should read your blog and figure out WHY they need to lose the weight. Thank you for sharing!
- and seriously Leo and Mark! very lucky lady!
I am at work reading this and am about in tears. Your story is so moving, so true, so real, and just what I needed to hear today. I have been working 14 hour days and still killing myself to squeeze in a 5-8 mile run 5 days a week……because it is what I think I have to do. About a year and a half ago I started my weight loss journey. In high school I had an eating disorder and at my lowest weight weighed 82 lbs at 5’7. When I got into college, I got treatment, but quickly swung to the other side of the scale weighing 190 lbs. I ADDED A WHOLE NOTHER ME! It was depressing, terrifying, and downright the lowest point in my life. I felt helpless and antisocial trapped in this large body I wasn’t used to. I decided then and there that starving, binging and purging, gorging, and all the other horrible techniques I used to use to lose weight just wouldn’t work any longer…..I had to lose weight the RIGHT way this time, and if that meant that it would take forever, then it would. I was determined from that point on to be healthy: eat healthy, exercise, and just LIVE LIFE, and I figured the weight would come off with time…..and it did! During my weight loss journey, my high school sweetheart, my boyfriend of almost 8 years, who stuck with me through thick and thin (literally and figuratively) proposed to me. It was with the wedding that I felt an instant NEED, not want, BUT NEED to be even thinner. I had already gotten down from 190 to 145 by the time of his proposal, but with the wedding looming, I kicked it into gear more. I started RUNNING instead of my casual work outs. Not just running, but training for races, running half marathons, and going at it 5-7 days a week. I got down to 127 for our wedding which was three months ago, and I still was not happy. Since then I have lost another 7 lbs and stand at 120 at 5’7. I have family that are aware of my past telling me I am getting too thin again and I can feel my Eating Disordered brain kicking back into gear. I know the more weight I lose, the worse my thoughts will get. I feel I have to run every day to maintain this weight I am at, but yet I am no happier now than I was at 130, 145, 150, 170 etc…..
So the point of this long saga is……THANK YOU! Reading this today just makes me realize that I have to live my life, and if living my life and being happy with it is skipping my run for today, it does not mean I am going to gain 10 lbs over night. If eating dessert one night makes me happy, then so be it! If staying home from running to watch movies with my husband that I rarely see makes me happy….then screw it, I’m skipping the run!!
Am I saying I’m going to stop exercising and running? NO!! Because it makes me feel absolutely fantastic about myself…..9 times out of 10 I LOVE running. I am actually very good at races and it is the one thing I’ve found that I’m particularly talented at, winning many races. However, I have now found the confidence to tell myself no to running on occasion if something else will make me happier that particular day….and it is all because of your inspirational story. So once again, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You are incredible!!
This is a beautiful story. Also, you are a wonderful writer. Thank you for writing a wonderful entry on a wonderful website. A lot of women need to hear your story.
Thank you so much. Every word resonates. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You’re amazing. An inspiration. Just beautiful, both before and after. Oh and might I add wonderfully well-written? I think I stumbled onto your blog for a reason I don’t yet know, but I’m glad I did. Thank you is about all I can say. My weight loss journey is starting today and I’m on my way to the Y as we speak. You’re the reason why. Thank you again.
Thank you! Thank you so much!
Your story was mind-blowing. I’ve copied some of your statements as quotes — love this one: “I wanted to forget that I was uncomfortable in front of people and just let myself be without feeling painfully aware of how big I was.”
I am not at my goal weight (by any means) but I feel like you did. A slave to exercise..for..the…rest..of..my..life. I really enjoyed your take on exercise and how not running saved your life.
I do have one question – if you were to do it all over again (aka, if you were in my shoes….just at the starting point of your changing your life) would you just walk or would you “kill yourself in the gym” — mine is a home gym with 90210 on my DVR, by the way)
I feel like a slave to exercise — running and ellipitical since college (I’m 34 now), I would so love to enjoy my workouts by walking, but I’m not sure if I need the running to get to my goal weight. If you have some time, I’d love to hear from you. Also, if you do get published…I’m so buying your book, and copies for all my friends.
That was a wonderful and inspiring story. I am so happy for you. I can totally identify with the urge to keep off weight that is lost and feeling so bad if you don’t put in those miles. You are so right. We all need to find ourselves and be happy. I’m a personal trainer and how you feel about yourself is the most important aspect of fitness. Love Love Love your story.
Thanks for sharing your story, very inspiring.
I stumbled upon your website and am SO thankful that I did. Your story is wonderful, thank you for sharing.
“I move because the world has too much to show me to stay still” — this will be my new mantra.
God bless… Lauren
I’m always amazed at people who can lose weight and keep it off… incredible. Your posts made me feel oaky with not doing Insanity today… or this week.
I didn’t always love running (I used t hate it), but now I do love it and I am so happy. That said, part of the love is figuring out that 5k is what makes me happy and it is okay to not do more. I don’t want to run a full marathon. I still have a little ways to go, but you give me hope that once I reach my goal weight range I will be able to maintain it. I am a healthy eating vegetarian and I run, dance, and walk, but I do all to the point of it makes me happy (and losing 8 dress sizes helps, but like you say it is about finding peace). If it didn’t I wouldn’t do it. I am still a bit nervous, but I hope I will be able to find the right balance for me.
thank you, thank you, thank you. a little late with my comment, but i so needed to read this. i have been struggling recently with that fear of letting go of those obsessive needs to exercise…running in particular. in my past, i’ve dealt with an eating disorder and have always been preoccupied with my weight. i tend to focus on that and counting calories instead of the amazing things taking place around me. i just end up missing out on life! it is so inspiring to read about your courageous decision to just.let.go. it seems so easy, but it can be so difficult…until you see that someone else did it and *gasp* they survived! your story is fantastic…it shows me that i too can let those obsessions go and be ok. thank you.
unfortunately, walking isn’t enough for some of us (it’s not safe to walk in my neighborhood anyway). if i don’t exercise like a maniac then I gain, and i gain a lot. and that’s including watching my diet, eating whole, nutritious foods, portion sizes, etc. I tried to be like you and just get rid of the scale, exercise only moderately, and just live my life, and that gained me 30 pounds.
i’m just saying. some people like me just have sucky genetics. i enjoyed your story though, and will recommend it to a few people.
Sorry, but I have a little *girl crush*. So beautiful inside and out and what you’ve shared must’ve struck a chord in me, because I’m teary. I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog…
Thank you so much for this. I have spent so many hours looking on the internet at people smaller than me, and methods that will supposedly help me get to where they are. They all seem to include self torture and misery for hours on end. Thank you for encouraging me that there are ways to accomplish the final result that I want so badly without killing myself along the way. Thank you for reminding me that skinny doesn’t equal happiness, and that I have to put myself above my appearance. Thank you so much!
You are beautiful and such an inspiration. And your story is so well written. I am 23 years old and have 42lbs to lose, and much of the time I feel as though it is impossible, but you have shown it is possible. I am so glad I found your blog today and will probably read it ALL now. Thank you.
Again, thank you for sharing your story. I wish more people would realize all it takes is making the choice. Finding what I call your “soul mate workout” which I know you have found and doing it!
I just read all 3 parts and I was riveted! I love your writing, it draws me in. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I’ve tried running too and I really hated it. I think it’s important to find something you enjoy doing so that you’ll actually stick with it. I like walking, so I do a lot of that. I don’t sacrifice my love of food either. I just eat mindfully and savor it instead of gorging myself on junk. I’m so glad I found your blog, I look forward to reading more of it. I hope you’ll check out my blog too if you have a chance.
Thank you so much for putting into words what I never can really put into words. I lost 70 lbs. 70 lbs. and I’ve yet to find peace with my body. It becomes such an obsession. I thought that being thin, being skinny would be my key to happiness and then I got here, and it wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t skinny enough and I wasn’t fit enough and my tummy is still too pouchy and ew, look at my thighs. I feel guilt when I grab a dessert after dinner or feel hunger or don’t exercise. I’m hoping that I can find peace in my life the way you did.
Perfect timing for me, THANKS!
Thank you so much for writing this. It is truly beautiful.
Thank you. That’s all that I can say. Thank you so much for this encouragement. I don’t have time to run for hours but I can’t continue to stay where I am. So yet again I say thank you for the truth, for the encouragement that you’ve provided now and for the rest of my life.
Thank you so much for writing this blog!! I really needed to hear all of these things. I am currently on a journey to lose 25 more pounds. I’ve already lost 10 and it has taken me so long. Your words are inspiring, and give me the hope that I can to lose the weight and keep it off without killing myself in the gym.
This is simply beautiful. You are such a talented writer and more of an inspiration than you’ll ever know. Thank you!
So my mom is the one who showed me your site and I’m glad she did because I got to read your story. I am 18, your same height and almost the same weight you used be, however, college life has brought me down a bit. I have had this weight issue my whole life, I even got a rare condition called Pseudotumor Cerebri because of my weight issue. I guess you could say that was my wake up call but I can’t lose weight easily. I have tried almost everything to lose the weight; pills, Weight Watchers, almost got a surgery, but I always end up gaining it back because I hated the ways I lost it! Everything you wrote is so true because I’ve finally accepted who I am and just work out at my own pace and I’ve actually gone down a size and lost some inches in just a few months! I was in that weight depression and finally chose to get out and not compare myself to other people but say I am who I am, stop hiding and let everyone see. Yes, I’m still working on it but might as well love the person I am now while working towards the healthier me. Your story is truly amazing and gives me hope and reminds me that I’m not alone =)
Lovely thoughts. Thanks for the inspiration
[...] Part Three [...]
You made me feel so much better, finally someone that understands the strugle I’ve had 27 years and keep going, thank you, thank you, thank you
I never comment on blogs… ever… your story is not only inspirational, but beautiful!! I read all 3 parts in one sitting (I almost panicked when I couldn’t find the link to 3 for a second). I am 25 and, I’d say, my self dislike (not hate) has been around since I was 7. I always noticed I was bigger than my friends and I was really hard on myself. I was never teased for my weight, but I never felt good about it, so all the “teasing” came from myself. When I graduated college and moved home I started to realize that my weight should not, and does not define me… what a strange thing getting older does to one’s brain and thought process! This is when I also started to realize that I am an amazing person and that I do love the person that I am… I had a sort of re-introduction with myself, and I am still getting to know myself everyday. This is not to say that I don’t have those days where I hate everything and wish for skinny, but they are far fewer. I have educated myself on healthy eating and exercise and I am beginning to really work towards weight loss (again… because I was doing well and sort of fell off the wagon, but I didn’t beat myself up about it, I realize I am human). I could not have found your blog at a better time… I chose to stay home on this Friday night instead of going out and drinking (and most likely eating something fattening & delicious) because I just started to focus on my health again (believe me, I will not be denying drinks and foods every weekend) and this is how I just so happened upon your blog! I was brought to tears when I read:
“You must find your life first.
You must find.
Your life first.”
This is what I am doing, and it was overwhelming to read it, I can not really put into words why, but I can say thank you! It was hard to say no to my friends tonight… and I know it will be hard to say no to those glasses of wine, and gnocchi, and french fries, and pizza
etc., but I know I can, and if there’s a time I don’t say no, its okay because being happy is important and a big part of being healthy. Again, thank you so much for sharing your story… I plan to use it as motivation.
By the way, I LOVE how you write, it is amazing and so easy to read… Do you have plans for any books in the future?
<3 Shannon
and as if I hadn’t written enough already… I just read another post you wrote. I, too, have a similar life story… My mother and father were alcoholics and I had family members who “felt bad” for me. Instead of trying to take me away from those situations they would buy me things or take me to McDonald’s and let me get a happy meal with a large fry on the side, if it made me feel better. This is where my life of retail/food therapy came from… to this day, both activities make me feel great (for a little while at least… having an addictive personality in my genes is not always so easy).
My aunt, who I owe everything to, adopted me and set me on a better path. I just wanted to thank you (for a third time) because it is always nice to find someone to relate to.
I am so happy to have read your journey in getting healthier in mind and body. I am 5’4″ and weigh 252 pounds. I have recently started watching what I eat, especially by cutting out all drinks but water and eating about half of what I would normally. I have stopped eating 2 snacks after dinner, and mindlessly eating to fill the void. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder this past January, which shows a reflection of my health in general. Now that my mind is starting to heal, I actually WANT to be healthy. I want to better myself. I want to stick with this, because not only do my husband and daughter deserve it, but I DO! I am only 24 years old, and I can’t bear thinking that I will be the same or even worse after 5 or 10 years. Thank you for your inspiring words and raw honesty. You make people feel like they can change their lives for the better and you don’t use your change to make people feel inferior. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve done because not only have you helped yourself, but you’ve planted the seed for others to begin their journey of change. Thank you.
I just started crying in the middle of the Union (at my college). haha I don’t think anyone noticed, but wow I just couldn’t stop! <3 You really spoke to something in me.
I spent 9 weeks in Italy about three years ago, and I lost about 30 pounds and I felt better than I had since I was a little girl!
Then I came home and gained it all back. I live in Oklahoma, and we just drive everywhere because everything is so spread out.
I've been doing what you alluded to earlier: work out like crazy, making a promise to myself to "lose the weight" only to stop a few months later. Perhaps I should just start walking and drinking more water, like when I was in Italy.
Anyway, I really found a lot of hope in your post. It was truly moving. I think you should write a book and do tours around the country.
love,
Meredith
I truly needed to read this!!! Thank you for sharing!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s something everyone should read.
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey with the world. I’m about to embark on the same journey of my own. I’m 26, 5’2″ and currently 272 pounds. I’ve been fearing the struggle that is ahead and I keep thinking that I will start tomorrow, or the day after. I now know that the time is now. I’m not getting any younger and I’m slowing getting further and further away from where I want to be. Thank you for telling me it’s okay.
Thank you for sharing your story, I’m on my own weight loss journey and I enjoyed hearing about yours. I like that you still have love for yourself with or without the weight. That is exactly the way i want to feel.
Here is hoping for good things for your future and mine, Maysha Mckie.
I can’t thank you enough for your story. I am 26 years old and 265 lbs. I have been struggling my entire life.
I am clinging to all the words you said. It’s so important to be happy, and to free yourself from these pre conceived notions or expectations put on us by ourselves and society.
I need to get health, but I need to get happy as well… one of the things that you said that sticks with me so much is that you lost all of that weight and still hadn’t found all the things you were looking for.
Today is a new day for me… one in which I will walk this evening… and hopefully I will reach a place like you that I am mentally, emothionally and physically healthy and at peace.
Thank you again,
Nicole
I love your story. May I ask which walking shoes you prefer?
As I read your story, Im having my routine cup of coffee and my fiber one brownie. I am nervously waiting to leave for the gym for my first personal training session. I feel like I am at a cross road in my life and it is terrifying! I cannot begin to tell you how comforting your words are. I know that this journey will not be easy and maintaining will be just as hard. You have made me realize that there is a balance that needs to be reached before I can truly be successful. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I really hope that I find that inner peace that you speak of.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I too have found a love of walking and have lost 35 lbs so far since starting this summer. I have tried running some, but just find the peace of walking more my thing. Sometimes by myself with ipod, and sometimes with friends. And I am currently part of a womens early Saturday morning walking group and still Jazzercise. Its so important to find something that works for you that you like! Look forward to reading your book, keep us posted!
THANK YOU! God it feels good to hear that not bustin it at the gym is what you HAVE TO DO! Last week my friend literally said she’s counting every calorie, including the “licks”. LITERALLY she counts licking food as calories! That statement was one of the saddest things I’ve heard in my 26 years of life, I’m 100% Italian! Eating is a religious ritual for us! Thanks for sharing your story, it made me smile
I found a link to your site off of pinterest (awesome website huh?) And I have to say- WAY.TO.GO.
You achieved a feat that many people give up on and I am proud of your decision to be okay with not being a runway model (even though you look like one). People in my family have always been obsessed with weight and it’s driven me crazy. Always being surrounded by these thoughts, I have also thought a lot about my weight even though people are always telling me I’m slender. (I guess to me, I’ve never seen 5’11″ and 175 or so lbs in a big frame as slim…big frame just isn’t slim to me lol) But anyways- thank you for this. I have always hated running…like seriously hated it. And while one person’s success may not be for another…the idea of only walking, just increasing ACTIVITY-aka not sitting on my butt surfing the internet and pinterest-, and baking and eating whatever my heart desires, makes me so happy.
Have a blessed day enjoying the wonders of our beautiful world by walking
You truly are an inspiration 
I loved reading your story.
It was very enlightening. I lost 15 pounds over the summer but about 7 weeks ago I had a running accident and broke my foot, which greatly depressed me. I have been unable to exercise or move much at all and have gained most of the weight back.
Finding your site a few days ago, I have taken your words to heart and pledge to start a new – today. Thank you:)
Hello! Thanks for your inspirational story. It’s so true – walking’s fantastic. I lived in Edinburgh for a decade, and walked everywhere. I was toned, fit and happy. Then I moved to the country and had a baby. I live on a scary, super-busy main road, and can’t drive, so walking is limited to round and round the village or up and down the same old track. Since I left the city I’ve put on 40lbs, most of which is baby weight, but I think I’d better start walking straight away. Thanks for the wake up call! xx
Thank you. I needed this.
Loved reading about your exercise history. I have struggled with my weight for pretty much as long as I can remember…never happy with it, always having gym guilt. It’s terrible!! I’ve taken up running the last couple of years, some days I enjoy it, some days not so much. I’m confused
I want to walk. I don’t live in a walking type of city, but you’ve inspired me to find new places to walk. I’m going to start loading up on podcasts that I never ‘have time’ to listen to…my exercise time has always been my quiet time (I have two young children) which is why I’ve never been a fan of big group classes at the gym. I’d rather walk the treadmill listening to my new album or watching Brothers and Sisters on Netflix.
You have a very healthy outlook and that is great, I’m really happy I found you when I did
I have one roommate who is a marathon runner and one who is an ex-college cheerleader. They both run CONSTANTLY, but i just HATE it. Thank you for making me feel like it is ok to not want to run, and that I can be just as successful with being healthy without running!
Wow! You are such an inspiration! Loved reading your story and seeing your beautiful spirit flow through your smile and the peace you have found with yourself. I accidently found your blog this morning while searching for some recipes and I’m so glad I did.
I’m old enough to be your momma, having daughters a few years older than you, but even at my age, your story has encouraged me to get out there and walk some more and start eating better and to love yourself more.
Approaching the end of 2011 and thinking of my “new start” in 2012, I recently have been thinking of all the ways to transform my body, my life, etc. and gaining the personal success of achieving my goal-weight was one of them. Until I read this blog, I had never viewed weight loss from a perspective such as yours and, reading through the comments, I would suspect that many more haven’t either. The year 2012 was going to start off as 2011 had for me, full of extreme gym regimens and water-based vegetables. No laziness, self-indulgence, no “happy foods.” But reading your blog has really opened my eyes to a new approach and most definitely a new plan. Like you, I have a terrible relationship with running and countless hours on those complicated machines at the gym; 2011 turned out to be a disappointment to myself when I didn’t stick around for the “fun.” Thank you so much for putting yourself and your story out there for myself and the rest of those out there who need to hear stories of people who are doing what they love and are happy regardless of what Kim Kardashian and “The Biggest Loser” have told us are the absolute truths to self-esteem and happiness.
Thank you so much, you’ve really touched my life with your story and I plan on sharing your blog with my friends and family.
great end to a happy story… but easy when you are in your twenties without any children in the home or at all.. its not AT ALL the same when you get to be in your 30′s, 40′s and you metabolize everything slower than EVER and you find yourself lacking time for healthy food because fast easy food is what you need between soccer games, karate, piano lessons, tumbling classes and whatever else you do for everyone but yourself… wow i sound like such a DEBBIE DOWNER… but i’m not.. just a realist… its inspiring story but also could be viewed as discouraging to those who really do have to watch all they eat and make time for the gym daily in order to stay sorta over weight (me)
i just read all 3 pts and find myself where you were in that gym at 268 except im 5’2. Ive tried to loose it and even once made it as low as 220′s only to be back here in 5 years. so… what now? i want desperately to be healthy and smaller ive just lost my mother and am lost in many ways and i feel that if i can control this one thing i can begin to rebuild.
Thank you. I have never heard it put any better. I have fluctuated up and down in my weight and size throughout my life. Right now I am on the higher end looking to go down, but honestly, I am petrified at the idea of maintenance. I have never maintained my ideal body weight/size, and never knew how. With what you have written, I finally anticipate being able to continue my journey without fear. You have given me freedom in your inspirational words. Many, many blessings to you, and thank you for sharing your life and inspiring all of us. God bless you.
I found your site via Pinterest trying to get your chicken soup recipe and found so much more. I am about to start my own weight loss journey and I am glad that I found your site first. I will remember to be gentle with myself without putting so much pressure on myself or getting to the point of exhaustion. Thank you.
Thank you for this. It is something I really needed to read.
I accidentally stumbled upon this blog, and I’m so glad I did.
Reading all 3 parts of your exercise history brought tears to my eyes and perhaps opened them to what it really is I am always working at to achieve. I found your honest words to be refreshing and truly motivating. Thanks for sharing your journey!
You are an incredible writer and person. I’m very glad that you don’t have Ken’s ambiguous genitalia, as well.
I so needed to find you & read about your journey! I exercise and try to remember to make smart food choices, I just need now to find the balance that will help me create the happiness and peacefulness….your writing has inspired me to start the search immediately! Thank you.
I know you have herd this phrase at least 195 times, but I still need to say it…..Thank you! I am exactly 268 lbs. I have been 135 lbs. I’m going to read your blog often and in one or two years I’m going to write back to you and let you know that your inspiration helped me to loose half my body.
Thank you so much for this. It brought tears to my eyes, really. You are an inspiration. You get a lot of comments so I wouldn’t be surprised if you haven’t read what I said in Part 2. But everything you wrote here in Part 3 is exactly what I need.
So thank you and God bless you.
Wow. ….. I am struggling roughly with my own weight loss battle, & it always feels never ending. I have always looked at my weight as an inevitable reality, & the thought of maintaining has always seemed unreal.
Thank you. Thank you for sharing your story, & for not only giving me hope ( seeing that you had real weight loss-my starting weight is only 10 lbs. under yours), but for putting out hope that not only can it be done, but maintaining it can be a joy, and not a battle I’ll face forever.
Thank you so very much for sharing your very inspirational weight loss journey. You are an amazing writer as well, I might add.
Very inspirational! My highest weight was 250 lbs, My pant size was 22, and I’m only 5’5″. I’ve lost 40 pounds, slowly, and maintained the weight. After reading your story, I am definitely motivated to start getting more active and actually TRY!
Did you do anything else other than cardio?
Thanks so much for saying hello Melissa! Congrats on your loss- that is not easy!! I only did cardio while losing. And now, looking back, I do wish I had done some strength training because I’m sure I was losing lean body mass and some muscle.
Andie
sigh…so much of what you have said rings so true with me. I ran and ran, hurt my knee and ran some more. But, then I found walking and listening to music while I walk or taking long walks with my hubby….and then dance party 2 on xbox connect!
Those I love….( running? meh) so, those I enjoy doing and look forward to ( most of the time) and I couldn’t agree with you more. Oh, and you are absolutely adorable, lovely and so very, very inspiring! Thanks for sharing your story, I am your newest fan.
xo
Melis
You are such an inspiration. I have been fighting the fat battle from when i was a young girl. Now i am at my heaviest, i feel so depressed to start any type of weight loss, also feel so shamed and embarrassed to be out where people are. But your story gives me hope, that i can do it, it just starts with a small step. Thank you and im so glad that your one skinny girl now, that definitely knows how it feels.
Loved reading your story. I’m in the process of losing… hoping to go down 40lbs, maybe more. It’s hard to explain to someone what I think and feel being overweight as long as I can remember without them having a similar experience. I can’t explain how weird it feel to think positively about the fact that I WILL be healthy. That soon, I will not be where I have been for my entire life. But I’m SO glad that I have come across your story so when it’s time to stop, I can stop and be happy with myself. Because the point is the improve your life, not put you into a new rut.
Looking forward to reading up more. Thank you for opening your life up to complete strangers.
Thank you for confirming to me what I think I already knew. Have been on my weight loss journey for 18 months now – down 35 pounds. Walking some (not enough) has been my only exercise. More mindful of what I eat – but still enjoy a cookie or two. I am living my life…and enjoying my life…my mindset is to start over every day! So far so good – probably won’t lose all the weight I would like in a short time – but then I didn’t put 60 pounds on in a short time either. I am determined is the difference.
THANK YOU THANK YOU! Oh BTW you are a brilliant writer – you have a lovely tone and cadence to your words! I would love to read your book one day!
Seriously Inspiring…and the wonderful writing didn’t hurt!
This is the most inspiring thing I have read in ages. It is exatly what I needed and I know I will be visiting here all the time now.
Thanks for sharing your story. You are now officially my hero
xoxoxo
Melanie
You have almost brought me to tears! I’m so grateful that you’ve confirmed something to me that I just barely figured out. As a mom of 3 incredible kids (4, 2, and 8 months), I don’t have a minute to lose. I don’t have a ton of time to get a meal in . . . let alone work out at a gym everyday. I can love my life putting my husband and kids first, while at the same time keeping the weight off. Just eat when I need to, work out occasionally for my sanity, and love my little munchkins. Thank you!
I echo others on this site. I too needed to read this. Thank you.
Amazing! Thank you for the inspiration! <3
I just have to say your story is such an inspiration to me. I currently top the scales close to 300lb and this is not the life I want to live. Your story has inspired me to work towards an achievable goal. I know it will take time but your story gives hope that with perseverance you can achieve your goals if it is something that you really want.
I had the pleasure of studying abroad during college too (only I was in Japan), and I had to walk everywhere. I had never felt better during that time. When I came home family and friends both would tell me I looked good, and I felt good. Regrettably I was unable to maintain the lifestyle I had while abroad and returned to my old life style of taking the easy why out and driving places instead of walk because getting in the car was more “convenient”. Now that I’m out of college and live in a small town where walking places is easy I feel that I can once again walk everywhere and get to who I want to be.
Thank you
Thank you, i’m crying, really.
<3
Your story was incredibly inspiring! Thank you for sharing it! Just what I needed to hear…struggling to fit a gym into my schedule, even when I am miserable about it…I keep thinking “there has to be something else out there”! Thank you for showing me that there is!
I skimmed through alot of the comments and the one thing that stands out is, you have a gift. You have inspired so many of us. Your gift of writing tells your story beautifully
Wow. You are so amazing, I kinda wanted to cry at the end. I found you via pinterest and I’m now a loyal follower. I weigh 250 lbs and so I understand staring down 300. I had a baby about 6 months ago and had been so depressed that some days I didn’t even get out of my pajamas. I have recently started walking with my best friend and we’ll do a workout DVD or something like that. I just wanted to say that you are inspirational and so incredible. Thank you for all that you have done, and having the guts to share it with the world.
I love that you focus on happiness. I will turn 26 this year and for the first time, maybe that I can remember at this point, I have really thought about what makes me happy, how I want to feel each day, and how to get there. I would like to loose 5 or 10 pounds even, but have not really Struggled with my weight. I think the old me was sexier, and therefore I miss her, mainly for my husbands sake… maybe for my desire to feel that sexy and desirable again. But the happiness is really what I strive for.. and not too many things have changed yet. I have cleaned up the house more and organized rooms I hated going in and now enjoy. I have grown in my career and had plentiful lessons on work and stress – overcoming my own stressers that I add to my life was a journey in itself. Overcoming personal obstacles…It’s like finding peace in things that you know live there, you just can’t see them. I am enjoying life more and more each day, and cannot wait to soak up each moment. I love your blog, can’t wait for the books, and even though our journeys aren’t identical, I feel they are the same as everyone else. Some just don’t know how to put them into words, or tap that deep into their being.
*STANDING OVATION*
What an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing it with the world and me!! I found you on pinterest! I really really really needed to read this today… Thanks for the hope that this size 22 girl can lose all the “baggage” too. I am ready to be free…
Thank you. Really. Thank you for telling all of us what we needed to hear. Giving us permission, per se, to be who we are, and not feel like we have to kill ourselves in order to get “thin”.
With that in mind, I do believe that I will go take a walk that will hopefully be the first of many. And if that doesn’t tickle my fancy, I know where there’s a heated swimming pool.
Thank you. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I used to run and workout like a fool in highschool. My weight was 120 lbs and at 4’11 I still thought I was fat. I was considered overweight. I gained 20lbs in college. I lost 20lbs when I dropped out. My heaviest was 170lbs. Im hovering around that weight again. I hate feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I needed to run across your blog today. Im glad I did. Thank you again
You are 26 (at least as the time you wrote this) and I am 50 (at the time I am writing this)! I guess I’m stunned that one so much younger than I can inspire me like you just did. Thank you.
I don’t know how, but you managed to get under that facade I have, the one that pretends that everything is okay…and really get to my heart. Thank you. You have inspired me to keep the faith, to keep trying to make something out of this not-quite-what-I-dreamed life of mine. You’ve reminded me that I have the power to change.
Beyond inspiring… I don’t know why it’s so hard to give ourselves a break but your story certainly has helped.
Wow is all I can say, just like everyone elses comments to your story we all needed this. I literally am in the same boat as you were in 2005 except 10 pounds lighter but two inches shorter, so the same place ish. I am planning a trip with a friend to Peru in December and we are going to hike the Inka trail and I know with where I am at weight and health wise right now its not gonna happen unless I pull my stuff together! I love that you did this while eating “normally” that is my intention, portion control and moderation. Thank you so much for inspiring us all and putting into words what we all needed to hear!!
Shannon
Your story has literally brought me to tears. I’m in the middle of my own weight loss journey and it is so easy to forget why I’m doing it – to be healthy and enjoy every day of life. Not to be unhappy or down on myself because “I should have pushed harder at the gym”.
You have been the most inspiring story I have read through the last few months of my journey; actually probably the most inspiring story I have ever read, period.
You are a beautiful person, 268 or 135, and I can tell you have an amazing heart.
Thank you for putting your experiences out there. You have shed new light on things.
You are truly inspirational, i only need to lose about 15 lbs… but am struggling to get to the gym and mainly to eat healthy. I LOVE your recipes and my future husband does too – which is a tough feat… believe me!! I don’t know you and I’m so proud of you and your accomplishments. You give me motivation to lose those extra pounds and love myself! Amazing!
I just want to say how much I enjoyed “My Exercise History”. I have always been more of a petite female. After having my daughter 5 years ago, I am 10 lbs heavier than I was prior to having her. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot but I would like to shed these 10 lbs. I am going to try to take some your advise (especially walking!) I love to walk and it doesn’t take much but a good pair of sneakers! Thanks again!!
Thank you for writing about your journey. I found you through pinterest and am so glad that I did. Your story is inspiring and hopefully it will help get me back on the track I started out on last year.
I came across this by cheer accident and luck! It couldn’t have come at a better time and just what I needed to get me back on track with my walking daily (or as often as I can). Thank you so much and can’t wait to read future books!
*sigh* Yet another amazing post. Andie, I can’t thank you enough for telling your story so beautifully. I love, love, love that you have found walking to be your exercise of choice. I love walking, too, but sometimes I feel like I should be doing more, pushing harder, or going to the point of exhaustion with some dreadful total body workout that I hate. Hearing your story makes me want to lace up my walking shoes, load up on my favorite podcasts or playlists and keep moving at my own pace. Thank you so much for this. You’re truly an inspiration.
Read through all three parts and you are really inspirational! That’s a huge journey you’ve been on with weight and it’s great that you’re at a place that you can be happy.
just stumbled across your blog (blog? story? life? im never sure what to call these) i just wanted to say it brought i smile to my face. reading your exercise history (parts 1, 2, and 3!) was so unbelievably refreshing. i have never been overweight but have struggled with exercise addiction and disordered eating on and off and the freedom you found is something that im just starting to understand. thank you so much for sharing! there are so many blogs out there, with diet tips and exercise routines that i have been perusing and DO find helpful but there was just something so absolutely refreshing (i can’t stop using that word haha) about you and your relationship with yourself and food and exercise. thanks again for being so open!
You write so beautifully, Andie. I just can’t wait for your book!!!
I have just started my weight loss journey and happen to stumble upon your blog through pinterest. I have read your story and am so inspired! Thank you for sharing it! Its so easy to become obsessed with weight loss when you’ve reached a point of true unhappiness with one’s weight. Your story has reminded me to keep happiness as my mainfocus and not a number goal. Thank you! I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Thank you. Your story is powerful and moving. I have lost 35 pounds in the last 6 months. I have been stuck and not lost anything for several weeks. I just upped my protein, fiber, and exercise and I have started losing again.I want to lose another 46 pounds. You gave hope that I can finish and maintane . I am not on a diet. I have made perment lifestyle changes in what foods I eat and how they are prepared. I walk alot, play Wii , xbox and dance. Six months ago I did not have the energy or the stamina to exercise. I have come a long way. Thank You again, you have encouraged me.
Never in a million years did I imagine that my late night browsing on pinterest would lead me here. To this moment. Im not going to give my life story but in a nutshell I am a yo-yo dieter. I lose, I gain, I lose and gain times 3. Story of my life pretty much. After a lot and I do mean A LOT of soul searching I decided to finally put an end to my yo-yoing ways. I started out great a few weeks ago and already felt my self slipping. This leads me to tonight. I decided to look for workout tips and motivational quotes for guidance on pinterest. Surprisingly I pinned your blog and really had no intent on reading it tonight even, but I did and I seriously think my life is going to change. In reading all of the parts to this blog I felt so many emotions. I felt like there was a person in this world just like me and that person reached the goal that I never felt that I could. You have changed that in me, that I can’t reach my goal weight. I now know that I can and will. Even if I can’t workout everyday or always make the best choices. I can take it day by day and I will get there. I am 168 pounds and feel like I look like I am 268 pounds. Yeah I’m “that” girl. The girl that even after losing 80 pounds once in my lifetime weighing in at a very good looking 140 pounds, still felt fat. I have had children since then and like I said, go back and forth but never reaching my goal of 135 pounds. So I absolutely had to say thank you for the funniest, saddest, and most inspirational blog that I have yet to come by and I truly thank you for sharing your story and helping me finish mine. Thank You!
You are amazing and very inspiring! I always thought running and gyms were the devil. I will now start walking wherever, whenever, to keep me moving, work on my health and above all…make me happy
. Thank you so much!
Thank you.
I’m almost 50.
I’m tired.
I tried the gym,and here in S. Europe they are poorly maintained, expensive–and boring.
I lost 50 lbs, and gained 10 back. Lately it has seemed like they want to stay with me. But they don’t make me happy, so something has to be done.
Walking.
It’s healthy, it’s free, and it gets me out of the apartment.
See you on the streets, ladies.
(and a big thank-you to my namesake in NZ who told me where to find this blog).
You are truly a beautiful, inspirational young woman. I hope that my daughters can see themselves as you finally see yourself. I hope that you always your dreams and reach for life with both hands! Thank you so much for sharing your journey.
I’ve been working only part-time, and mostly from home, a big change from a year ago when I was working 11 hour days in a fast paced kitchen. I’ve been pleading with myself to just get up and go out for a walk, to move more than just from the couch to the kitchen, and back.
I just haven’t been able to find a good reason to do so. Can’t really afford a coffee which would motivate me to walk to the coffee shop. Don’t want to bump into people I know who’ll then see that I’ve gone from a size 6 to a 16. I have ankylosing spondylitis, a type of arthritis, and even mild exertion can leave my body feeling like I’ve suddenly begun a boot camp program. I’ve so been afraid of feeling physical pain that I’ve squirreled myself away, and now don’t feel much of anything but sadness.
Your utter benevolence, this gift of sharing your words means so much. Thank you for this perfect reminder. Engagement is fulfilling, I am not just my body. My spirit needs to move, and I’d forgotten.
Thank you again.
i came across your blog through a recipe on pinterest, and have to say, your story is one of the most motivating i’ve ever read. lately, i’m at a point where i am very unhappy in my body. i’m not terribly overweight but i do need to loose a few pounds. mostly, i need to find that happiness with myself you talk about. it is so inspiring to know that i don’t have to kill myself and cause my body to ache from running every day. the thing i need to do is just start and keep moving forward! thank you for the inspiration!
wow! i just found you on pinterest from a recipe. I’m embarrassed because I am so much older than you so I feel like I should know all this already. I have struggled with 10-30 pounds that I want to lose, so nothing major. But I have exercised all of my adult life…taught aerobics, been a Fitness Director…I am afraid to not exercise. I do feel like my problem has always been food…sugar! I do think I eat to make myself feel better…but it really only makes me feel worse…and I just keep doing it! So that is why I exercise constantly…to punish myself. I love to walk, swim, sometimes jog, play tennis…I enjoy all of that, but for the most part I use exercise as a form of punishment, torture, because I am a bad person, a bad mom, a bad wife. I understand that I need to love myself, and trying to do that through food isn’t working. I want that peace…that happiness…these darn 8 pounds to come off…to be happy with myself and my size and my clothes…to exercise for fun and play with my children…to be more confident for my husband to see me without clothes…to love myself.
Thanks to pinterest I have found this inspiring blog! This is the best one that I’ve ever read, especially since I’m a college student like you were, desperately needing to lose weight. I’m just going to take it one day at a time, and not kill myself at the gym.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!
I stumbled onto your blog through pinterest and found your really cool spin on spicy chicken wings, your buffalo chicken wrap. I’m so glad that I revisited your blog. I thought oh she’s so pretty and skinny….why does she have this post of “what I miss from 135 lbs. ago” …No way, she had to have been this way her whole life?! Right? Maybe she is talking about someone else. As I read more, I realized your battle with losing weight was more than just a battle of weight, it was more of an inward battle. Thanks also for sharing about reaching your “goal” didn’t create happiness for you. That was such an important piece of your story as I know so many think that that is the “top of the mountain” and that you can’t get better than that. So untrue
I’m not as heavy as you were, but now that I don’t smoke or drink (I quit 13 yrs. ago) food has become my go to vice. My weight has fluctuated from my “ideal” weight to being overweight for many reasons over the years, some for health reasons, some for personal reasons of chosing to stay away from certain foods, but never consistent and not always “moving” as you did. According to BMI charts, I’m 8 lbs over my normal weight and considered obese. I’m only 4’11″ at 127lbs. I cringe in anger when I see that chart, but I do know that part of that is because I know that sometimes I just wanna numb out on food and just lay there and be depressed. It’s comforting, inspiring AND encouraging to know that you’ve found what works for you. I can often think, well I’ll try this, see some results, get tired of it, gain a pound or 2, then I give up completely. But one consistent thing in your journey was to keep moving forward,…literally. You’ve inspired me to try and make that a part of my journey as well. I hope to find what I LOVE not what I think will help me to lose the weight and also make peace with food/eating as well. Thank you so much for sharing your journey, your life and that awesome recipe. I know that when I make it will make me think of you and remember never to give up. I hope life continues to treat you kindly.
You are amazing and beautiful inside and out! I have lost 90 pounds and still have over 100 more to go. I haven’t walked because I need a knee replacement. You have given me the motivation to know I can do it and that I need to be happy! Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing your life, your words, your truth! I loved reading about your journey. I have lost always struggled with my weight. I have walked and walked in the last year and have lost 20 pounds. I am running but I only do it when it feels good, usually 2-3 week. Thank you for the assurance I am on the right track! Keep writing!! Can’t wait to try your recipes!! xo
Thank you for your story. I have always been slender, but what you talk about is mind, body and spirit connecting and that is far more important to learn and be comfortable with than weight. I am 30 years old and life has finally smacked me hard across the face. I’m struggling to right wrongs and learning to be at peace with who I am. That is a very, very difficult thing to do.
Your blog is beautiful. You are a wonderful writer and based on the photos you’ve included, you have always been beautiful. I haven’t read all of your blog yet, but I plan on it. You are inspiring and vulnerable and loving. I feel at peace reading your feelings and thoughts.
Thank you again for sharing your struggles and triumphs and words of wisdom.
I just wanted to say this was a wonderful blog! I’m at the point where you were when you started. I’m 25 and I’m done with the way I look. I need to change for the better. I went to the gym, it was horrible. I went everyday and I was miserable. I stopped going because I was so unhappy. I was able to lose 30 pounds but as soon as i stopped working out I gained back almost 13 pounds. It was very discouraging. Be miserable or be heavy. This really helped me realize I dont have to make a choice I can be healthy and happy. I love walking! Thank you for sharing your experiences!!!
You have inspired me. This is how I lost 120 pounds in the past walking along with workout videos and dancing in the kitchen to nsync at the time. During college interships working 60 hours a week I started to gain it back not nearly all of it but some. And you have inspired me to loose it again and get back to walking. I always liked walking. And dancing in the kitchen!
I’ve never really struggled with my weight. I have been naturally skinny my whole life but I recently put on weight because of a medication. I want to lose it and will but that’s not why I’m commenting. I just wanted to say that you’re beautiful now and were before you lost the weight. Congratulations and thank you for writing this. It’s inspiring but really entertaining. I simply love the way you write. I think you should write a novel because I would definitely read it.
This is so inspiring. I had a baby 4 1/2 months ago- a c-section. I’m terrified I will never lose this “pouch” on my stomach. I went in the hospital at 209 (almost ten was the baby).. But four months later I am 162 pounds.i still have about twenty to go, but this has shown me its not about the number on the scale, but the happiness within
Sometimes I get mad army self for wanting to skip the gym (for the first time in 6 days).. Or that Zumba class wasn’t enough, I need to go take another class before the end of the day..but that’s just crazy. I hope I can keep this in mind when I get too hard on myself.
Very inspirational – I too am addicted to running and feel very guilty when I don’t. I have been running for almost thirty years and only took time off when I was pregnant. My body complains all the time and would like to “be ok” without it. I have walked with friends, but then will run later thinking I have not done enough. Crazy!! Thank you for your story!
You are so inspiring! And you are so right! I used to feel like a prisoner to the gym, but now I’ve found that I truly love to run, outdoors, at whatever pace I feel like going at. You rock! Xx
Wow! Seriously, you are an inspiration! I’m on my journey to being healthy. I’ve lost 47 lbs and I just found out I’m pregnant. I’m SO EXCITED about the baby, and am trying to stay healthy while not loosing weight. Thanks for sharing and being so open and honest about your journey. I really needed to read this today and am so excited for you! I can’t wait til the day I can say I have reached my right weight and maintained for 5 years. That is impressive and hopeful for people like me who still have about 50 lbs to loose…after I have the baby, of course.
thanks again for this!
Thank-you. With tears in my eyes I thank you.
I feel like I cant lose any weight because I wont keep it off. I believe I would work out and eat right until I lost the weight but then I would quit and just gain it back. SO I don’t even start. That and the emotional eating I do is still in force since my husband is mean but I cant figure out if-I need to change so he will or he needs to change. So again I don’t change anything. I loved reading you posts. I read almost all of them. Your journey, what you miss, exercise history, timeline. I cant remember if I read others but I read a lot. I feel motivated to change my eating habits and exercise but I know I wont. I just don’t like to exercise and I still like eating food for support. I can’t figure out what will make me finally get there. But I am only 5’1″ so an extra 100 lbs is a lot. I haven’t really gained much more in the last two years but I have had 5 kids in the last 12 years and I blame that on my weight. I just wonder if I can really blame it on baby weight anymore. I mean my youngest is 3, so I should have been able to lose weight by now, right? well I haven’t and I also learned that I blame my husband too. about a month ago we almost called it quits and everyday after that I exercised and ate right, then we decided to try working on our marriage again. I haven’t worked out once and I have been eating ice cream and everything else again. He asked me once why and I meanly said back-You are mean all the time and if I lost weight you would “gain” from that so I wont do it until your nice all the time. I know I shouldn’t think that way but apparently I do. I don’t blog about this since I don’t want others to know I know this . but I do. I also feel that if I lose the weight I will still be unhappy and I am unhappy now so why change? Why work hard to lose weight and still be unhappy? I don’t know what I will do but for now I loved reading you blog posts and feel inspired and thank you. Even if I don’t start now. Thanks
Thank you for sharing your story! Very well written! I really enjoyed your inspirational advice. I am currently trying to loose my baby weight and it takes every ounce of my energy to push myself each day to get moving. But your right! If I can’t bring myself to running I will walk with the baby. You look great and sound very happy. All the best! …and Thank You for the nummy pineapple slaw recipe, I can’t wait to try it!
I love this post! let me first start by saying I found your blog looking for toffee almond recipes and got to browsing around and read your exercise history. It is really amazing how disciplined you were but even better that you found something you enjoy!
Ive been on thr quest to lose some 70lbs for years and Ill start a workout program and never finish because it is brutal. I love getting pushed but it’s hard to maintain that level of intensity for weeks on end (for me anyways) but seeing the before and afters have me convinced its the way to do it.
Now there is a workout I love and saw great results but as always I was convinced I had to kill myself to reach my goal, i have lost 48lbs since then (about 4 years yo yo-ing up and down) and this post just reaffirms I can get to my goal and STAY there if I stick to something and do what I love.
It is something so simple yet so profound. Thank you for sharing your story and you look amazing!
your very inspiring. I am currently at 190. I started working out at the gym and think I over did it cuz then I couldnt walk very well for 4 days. I went back then. I feel like I am forcing myself cuz its boring. I am going no where fast. Its very depressing. I have motvation being that I am standing in a wedding in Oct. I am just discouraged. Maybe I should go to the gym again.
I just found your blog via Pinterest and I want to tell you that you are amazing. Your story is so inspiring. I’ll be reading!
xoxo
I found your website through pinterest and I’m so happy I did! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think we are all different, with extremely different bodies.
I have ALWAYS had weight issues for reasons similar to yours (family issues, addiction, overweight family, depression on my part, etc). I’m barely 5’5” and used to weigh about 230lbs and got down to about 148lbs by my freshman year in college. But by the end of college (crappy food, late nights, bad break up, etc) I ended up back around 198lbs. Even had my thyroid tested thinking my body hated me. But really it was a lot of things and mostly me being unhappy. When it came to fitness, everyone shows you how THEY work out and run and how I should do the same. But none of it was ME (I also dislike running!). To be honest I lost most of the weight in the first place from eating better and skateboarding in high school. So now, living in the mountains I’m back snowboarding, walking, hiking a bit, etc. I’m back down to about 170 and looking to get back to my healthy weight (and by that I mean healthiest I felt personally). BUT I’ve also realized I’d rather enjoy life at whatever weight I find myself than give in to a fitness routine that makes me more unhappy than before. We all have to find our OWN niche when it comes to moving about and not listen to every friend, partner, magazine, workout craze, etc. We need to enjoy our time not waste it worrying. I love feeling healthy but ultimately being as happy as I can be is the most important thing I can do for myself.
Thanks again for sharing and looking forward to following more 
You are very inspirational. I got down to 135 lbs and now have gain it all back within 20 years. I don’t feel good and I don’t feel about my self- I hope I can beat the addication to food I have.
Hi, I have enjoyed reading about your weight loss journey! Congrats on that. Also, this has been helpful. I have been working hard on losing weight, and have been jogging, which i am not used to doing, and i noticed that it made my knees unusually sore. Thanks to your helpful info, i’m not going to jog or run anymore. I will walk! Also, i do have some weights that i use, but i like doing it. i have two 8 pound dumbbells, and one 15 pound weight that i do like squats with, and i use them 3 times a week. i think that combined with walking will be enough.thanks for sharing your information.
but maybe i will jog in moderation.
I’m 21 years, I’m mexican and I have an eating disorder. I eat compulsively. I entered Rehab three years ago and I recovered from it. Now I find myself in the same position that I was before entering to Rehab, because is something that doesn’t just go away. I’m reading this and I’m finding something new: HOPE.
I really want to be like you. I think I’m like you were in college, you just have to add bulimic actions. I really find some peace just by reading your story. I hope I find peace just like you found it.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING. THANK YOU FOR GIVING HOPE
I have that fear right now of gaining back tons and tons of weight if I stop exercising 6 days a week. I really need to chill but theres a voice in the back of my head that says if I stop then I’ll be back where I started.
I’m literally starting my weight loss journey TODAY, so to find you, on Pinterest looking at yummy recipes of all places, I am SO happy to have found your blog. I think reading this (while I’m supposed to be working, shhhhhh!) is really going to help me keep my motivation and get through losing my weight. Thank you Thank you Thank you!
I love your truth and candid sense of humor. I agree with the others that have posted…you are inspirational and do offer hope. Hope for the people that cannot yet see the light at the end of the tunnel…hope for the people who live in their own fear of “gaining it all back”…hope for all of us to find our own happy medium. ♥
Wow!! I loved your series (read all of them!!
)) I’m 57 yrs old and since I was 7 have been the fat kid/teen/adult. My top weight was 256 lbs. That was in 2010. I’m happy to say I now weigh in at 170 lbs., but not finished yet. I started working out on the treadmill just 3 weeks ago, (5 days on 2 days off) it’s only 20 min. a day, but considering I’ve always said “this body doesn’t run”, I’m doing pretty good for an old gal. Oh by the way, I’ve lost 15 lbs in those 3 weeks. Anyway, so glad I found your blog and know I will only be running till I hit that goal of mine at 135 lbs. I truly HATE it! But feel it’s something I have to do for now. Thought I would have to continue running all my life, now I know this is only a means to an end.
THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!! Keep writing and blogging! As everyone before me has said you are an inspiration and funny to boot !!!
I can only reiterate what everyone else has said… “THANK YOU!” I’m sharing your blog with all my girlfriends. I too have always felt like I “should” run because everyone else does… I HATE it! I can’t even walk in a straight line, let alone RUN! EW! You’ve inspired me, I’m going to put my shoes on now, find my ear-buds, and WALK!!!!!!
Wow, what a story!! I love the way you write, and I loved the journey that you shared. Take care!
Thank you so much for sharing your inspirational story. I have struggled now with an ED for nearly a decade and all because I was bullied for being chubby. I am slowly recovering but definitely at the phase where I feel I have to exercise every day . . . running in particular and though its something I used to enjoy when I first started I know hate it because I constantly feel I have to push myself till I feel sick. Your story has shown me that I don’t have to do that, I need to exercise because I want to and because it makes me happy. Thank you so very much. This is exactly what I needed to continue on my journey of recovery.
Love M
I stumbled upon your blog quite by accident and I’m SO glad that I did! I’ve recently lost 20lbs. It’s not much, but with what I’ve gained in confidence and well-FEELING, it is incredible! I developed sciatica due to my job. I think it was given to me to get me off of my butt and move! I literally have a set amount of time that I’m able to sit before I start to feel that familiar ache! I’ve reached a plateau but I’m going to get through this and your story is the inspiration that I needed!
Let me be just a bit presumptous here and tell you….we could totally have been lifelong BFF’s in a past life. I have all of these friends who claim they “love” to run….listen, they might REALLY love it…but I doubt. I think they are big ‘ol liars. I enjoy my walks too…..if I could stick with them and be consistent, it would be even greater. I am 5′ 8″ and 160 lbs. I would like to lose a bit of weight but I would really like to be more toned, firm…..I’ll just come out and say it, I want a nice butt. I love, love your blog and will continue to read and enjoy.
I came here for the mini cinnamon roll recipe and stayed for the exercise story. I lost a significant amount of weight in ’10 and ’11 and I have majorly struggled with “maintenance” at a happy weight. A lot of it has had to do with the stress of people fixating on my new, lighter weight and taking it all too seriously. This series was truly inspiring…so few people talk honestly and openly and _sanely_ about weight maintenance, maybe in part because it’s not as easily described as “go to the gym X minutes, eat X calories.” I am trying to do something close to what you described, and hearing your words made me feel less alone and more determined that I can find a way of moving and eating that makes me happy. Thanks!
thankyou so much! I’m so happy for you too.