There really aren’t cards I could send with meaningful enough words — I’ve looked. Thank you for blowing me away with unimaginable kindness. With love the size of Alaska. I read all of your comments, your emails, tweets, Instagram comments, and more, and I was sweating from the warmth. I’ve said it before, but this time man. You change me.
How is it that we haven’t met, and likely never will, and yet you’re such a part of my life? I wonder, do all of us think, “I really love this person and they’re just in my internet world”…? Do we all have this rich online friend circle — only sometimes those friends don’t know it? Know us? I feel that way. All the time.
Today, I’m thrilled to tell you that my book, It Was Me All Along, is available for preorder on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and IndieBound. And it would mean the world to me if you’d order it. The book will be sent to you on January 6, 2015 — the official release date — because it’s still being printed and bound, but preorder sales mean a whole lot in the publishing world, so ordering it now matters in a big way.
It’s hard to put it into words — to tell you, oh hey! I wrote this thing you should check out! — because it has so much of me in it. I don’t know how to write about it in a way that’s not emotional, because the journey to write it, and edit it, and learn to be okay with releasing it out into the world — it’s been strange and unbelievable. It’s got my whole life in it. It’s all of the intense vulnerability of this blog multiplied by, oh I don’t know, the national debt?
I shared things in this book that I’ve never talked about publicly — which is surprising when I consider how uncomfortable I make myself every day online. I wrote things that make me wonder if anyone will ever like me again. So what’s in here? Well, growing up, to start. There’s losing my dad. There’s all of the eating. There are relationships — including the one with my longtime love, Daniel, and the ones with my best friends, and my family. There’s a prom, obviously. There’s losing 135 pounds and figuring out how the hell to maintain that. And there’s even a cocktail party where I flirt shamelessly with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Who did I write this for? For every person who has ever felt uncomfortable in her own skin. The girls, the women, even the men, who have felt weird and alone and unsure if they’ll make it.
It’s a ride. For me, and maybe for you — I don’t know.
I just finished hand-writing 150 letters to people I wanted to send galleys of my book to, and what I wrote about the book — and what ultimately holds true is, “It’s my story of losing 135 pounds, but more than that, it’s the journey of changing my life, of success and the unexpected perks of complete failure, of rock bottom, of finding balance, and ultimately, arriving at an understanding of what it means to love myself wherever I’ve been and wherever I am.”
I think that sums it up. Until the next one.
I would love for you to read this book. I would come to your house and make you dinner. I would write you a love note.
Thank you for being a part of my life!