My Exercise History
Let’s chat about exercise for a minute.
Now, having lost 135lbs, I am frequently asked what I did to lose it. I’ve decided to write a few posts about the way I moved then and the way I move now. The road and then the reflection, naturally.
Here is what I hear most often:
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“You must bust your butt in the gym!”
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“I bet you work out a lot.”
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“Do you run?”
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“Is it ever okay to buy Kraft Marshmallow Crème when the original Fluff brand is out of stock?”
Here are my answers:
- Nope.
- No siree bob.
- No.
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Never. (I had to.)
So…what’s the deal then?
I walk. Not particularly fast, not particularly powerfully, and no, not really in a way that most humans would consider graceful.
That last one is unfortunate.
But let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
Years ago, when I set about losing fifty thousand pounds (give or take a pound), I joined the YMCA. I know I’ve told the story before, but if you’ll just…indulge me, I like to repeat myself. Think of me like your Nana.
What was I talking about?
Ah yes, the Y.
So it was 2005, a Saturday morning in June, and I had just arrived home from my sophomore year of college. My best friend and I bought cheap memberships to the local YMCA because, as I was fond of doing every summer, I was planning to transform myself by August’s close and go back to school looking great. I walked into the locker room, knowing that I was the biggest I had ever been, and that’s saying a lot because I had never in my 20 years been anything but big. Not a single day of slender to look back on.
I stepped on the scale, because you know, we all need a starting place, and saw a number I was really not ready for.
268.
That’s two hundred plus sixty plus eight. I’m 5’9,” and though that height is forgiving, it’s not that forgiving.
And I…was…terrified.
I can honestly say that I didn’t know if I’d ever actually be able to do it. Lose the weight. I spent my whole life thinking, ‘someday I’m going to do it! Just you wait, and then life will be–perfect.”
But all of a sudden, nearing 300lbs, that canned, prerecorded message wasn’t auto-playing in my head. I saw myself in five years, ten years, only growing bigger, only making the distance between healthy and dying farther.
I suppose I woke up. I blinked, breathed in, and in that one moment at the Y I knew that if I did not start then, if I did not make even one change, that my life might never be what it should. What I wanted it to be.
For the rest of that summer, I took group cardio classes, I used the elliptical, the treadmill, the stair master. I won’t say it was fun, but I will say that like anything new, and like any challenge you embark on, it was exciting at first. I had my best friend with me. Britney Spears was still making music that moved me.
And then, at the end of that 2005 summer, I was 30lbs lighter. I went back to school feeling good about myself. And though I continued to try and eat well, aimed for smaller portions, and maaaaybe walked to classes, I stopped working out. Largely because I never truly liked it.
By December, three months later, I had probably lost another 20lbs, just being moderate about my life. I still enjoyed cocktails and beer and umpteen late night pizzas, because that was a very integral part of college, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. But, overall, maybe I was more mindful. Something told me that two drive through runs within 30 minutes were excessive. Side note: I’m still angry at whatever told me that.
The next month, January, I moved to Rome for the semester to study Italian film. I walked everywhere. No, excuse me, I just need to find my megaphone. Is this thing on? I WALKED Ev-Er-Y-Where.
Everywhere.
And when I was done walking to every monument, every antique church, through every piazza, I walked some more.
I suppose I was trying to move as much as possible. I took the stairs when there were escalators available; I walked to class when there were buses; I climbed Mt. Vesuvius on a rainy Tuesday morning when my unbalanced self would have been better suited sitting at its base. And I joined a gym in Rome. You cannot begin to imagine the oddity I was in a little old gym in Trastevere. Me, three middle aged men, four dumb bells, a few weight benches, and a rickety old treadmill, was all that occupied the second floor space. My memories of it are filtered in that grainy, old-timey photo haze, the same dated effect as the photos in my mother’s childhood album. Everything is tinted yellow, blown out from sunlight, dusty almost.
There, in a city, and a country, that doesn’t necessarily believe in formal exercise, I jogged. I worked my way up from walking and jogging for 10 minutes (and half-keeling over) to being able to run for 30 minutes straight. If I close my eyes tight, I can still almost feel the up and down swinging of a body with essentially three filled backpacks of excess strapped to it. That terrible chafing of my thighs. The way pants snuggle up in such an uncomfortable, intimate manner.
Every run felt triumphant, like I was getting there.
I jogged on cobblestones that led to the Colosseum. I cruised by the Vatican and silently nodded to the Pope, who I imagined sitting in that fourth story window, his red velvet slippers propped up on a chez lounge. I took my first bikram yoga class next to St. Peter’s Basilica.
You try doing 26 poses in Italian.
I know.
I’d say I probably jogged for 40 minutes every day I was there. And really, really really really, I did taste all the food. Every last gnocchi, every notable gelateria, every slice of pizza from Florence to Rome to Napoli to Capri. It’s a different way of eating there, though. The portions are smaller, the plates too. The elegance of a meal isn’t in the food alone, but in the way one lingers at the table, the way you sit for nearly half a day outside at a wrought iron table to people watch and sip espresso. There’s a purposeful nature to eating. It’s mindful, it’s celebrated, it’s an activity done three times per day. No more. No less.
And between moving around all day and exploring the city, exercising at my dusty little Roma gym, and eating fresh, whole foods- the heart of true Italian cuisine- I left Rome at the end of May 60 lbs smaller.
I stepped off the plane a new person. I felt new. Alive and afire.
It was June again, and I rejoined that old YMCA where I’d spent the previous summer with my best friend. In no time, we were at it again: taking aerobics classes with the rowdiest of fifty-year-olds, Jazzercising, being debaucherous with exercise balls and an open weight room. Laughing. Laughing. Laughing.
I’d almost call it fun.
I said almost.
I lost another twenty pounds over those next few months.
And on the final day of summer, just as I was saying goodbye to my best friend, Sweet sayonara to the Y, and heading back to school for my final collegiate year, I saw a number I didn’t think I’d ever see.
135.
One hundred plus thirty plus five.
I recently lost over 70 lbs, so I know what you went through. i love to cook and bake and eat, still have my Sunday dessert, but only that day. I learned to eat the right foods, more vegies and fruits and a lot of whole wheat and whole grains. I love your recipes and blogs. Keep up the good work!
This is inspiring, but most importantly, it’s well written.
Thanks for that.
And you are just so darn cute I have a hard time believing what you are saying.
Really?
If you can, then I can lose 30 little piddly pounds, right?
[...] first read Andie’s blog earlier this week one of my favorite sections was My Exercise History. Where she wanted to do something that she could live [...]
I found your site from a weird link-to-a link-from a link and i have come back everyday for a week. I love your writing- can’t wait for the book!- your inspiration and your recipes. I decided to comment on this post because I have been overweight all my life like you, lost some, then gain it back, but the weird thing about me is that I can go totally OVERBOARD on excercise, but getting the mental game of food KILLS me everytime! you give me inspration to try and pay more atention and to put better quality and not QUANITITY in my mouth!
*whoops- Like you WERE- not now- I think I am most captivated by your amazing MAINTENENCE!
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i truly know how you feel my frined i lost my mom 2 yrs ago to cancer its not easy but she gave me and still does give me inspriation we have the answer within us we just have to look a bit deeper its there … =)Good Luck in your life
Just found your website through HLB. Love your story and writing style! You look amazing and congratulations on finding that happy place!
wow! What a great story/good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are so inspiring. Truly. I had a similar epiphany to you – I hit 28, realised my 30s weren’t that far away – and decided I did not want to spend my 30s the way I’d spent my 20s, overweight, miserable, stuck in a rut.
I’ve been on a diet for the last year, the first diet I’ve ever stuck to. I’ve lost 75 pounds so far – and it’s been an uphill fight the whole way. Am I eating too much? Am I eating too little? Am I exercising enough? I still have to constantly remind myself that it’s okay, there’s no deadline, there’s no punishment if I slip, if I put on a pound one week. And I still find that my whole world is defined by food. And that’s the hardest part, I think – to stop thinking about food.
Hi there….just found your blog tonight. Love it. I have struggled with my weight my entire life, and I am 47. A few years ago I went on Atkins and lost 70 lbs in 9 months, but have gained it back. I have no motivation and cannot stick to exercising or healthy eating. So far my health is excellent, I have never smoked and hardly ever drink. But I am afraid if I don’t soon lose weight, my health will suffer. Just wondering if you have any before pics? Thanks.
i love this blog. i have visited every day for a week and reread and reread. i have cried.i have smiled. i hope you send your book to australia when it is done. i have dreamt about starting my own journey (again for the 3000th time) to lose the 40 kgs at least that need to go. you write abit weight and the misery and the weird elation of over eating like only someone who has walked this jouney. I cant wait to see your jouney and share mine with you. you have inspired me, touched me and given me a new sense of realistic hope. thank you Andie xxxx Krystina
You are an inspiration! I have recently come to the realization that time just keeps ticking by and I need to stop thinking about how to lose the weight and just do it. I started out 120 lb had 2 kids and 9 years later, lets just say that the beginning number now starts with a 2. I always think there is no way I could ever shrink down to what I looked like before and I don’t even want to get that skinny but you have really inspired me and helped me to see that it is possible. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!
Wow. I just found your blog and I found my self almost in tears reading your story. I couldn’t help but think you’re exactly who I want to be some day. I’m in the middle of a weight loss journey that, let’s be honest, is weighing me down mentally. Your story has reminded me of how I felt when I first started my journey a year ago. I want to some day not worry about the number on the scale or how much I exercised each day or even how many calories I ate, I want to ask myself if I am living a healthy lifestyle and treating my body with respect. Your healthy relationship with food and your current weight is such an inspiration!
This is the very first blog I was ever compelled to read. Very witty.
Your blog is beyond inspiring. I have recently started working out (every other week) and there are days where I would rather eat an entire bowl of ice cream, or anything for that matter, anything to keep from walking to the gym…but I push myself and you are one of the reasons why I do this,why I push myself. such an inspiration. thank you so much for this blog!
I came to your blog via Pinterest to look at the recipe for your lasagna cupcakes. And I started reading. I am where you were 135lbs ago–overweight my whole life, struggling with the issues it causes, worried about the effects it is having on my health and longevity, with the added bonus of possible infertility issues as well. But I’m coming away inspired. I’m printing this out. I’m posting your journey as a reminder to myself that, dammit, it can be done. I don’t have Rome to explore, but that doesn’t mean nightly walks through my neighborhood aren’t a good place to start. So, I guess, in my long-winded way, I’m just saying thank you–for the recipe and the inspiration. I needed to find this.
How can you answer “no” those people’s questions? You did all of them. Congratulations on reaching a place where you feel happier with yourself, but the honest truth of your story is that you did exercise and work.
Found your blog via pinterest. I’m not a dieter and am one of those hated naturally thin people who enjoys working out a few times a week.
I’m here to tell you you should become a writer. I know literature. I know good literature and bad literature and you can make your life writing this down in novel form of some sort. The blog is well-written, and I rarely read blogs, more rarely reply to blogs or give random compliments. That is all.
After reading your blog, I yelled out to my boyfriend.. “Babe, if you walked alongside me with Missy [our dog], would you come with me while I went for a jog?”
I have been searching for the perfect motivation. Thank you for giving that to me.
-Amy
Found your blog from a link for a recipe, and I am impressed so far with the blog and your writing! Thanks for sharing.
Your words are beautiful and your story inspiring. I am so thankful to have stumbled upon your blog via Pinterest. The internet can be such an incredible thing. Thank you for sharing your story and letting people know it is possible
I am a new fan!
Wow! What an inspiration…. I have tried and failed 100x over attempting to lose weight. I am so glad I saw your blog mentioned in a post on Facebook. I can’t wait to read more.
just wanted to thank you for writing this. i was 40 lbs overweight for about five years, which is a lot when you’re only 5’1″! i carried it well but i hated it; i hated being uncomfortable all the time. long story short, my life goals changed and required me to be fit, which got me on the road. i’ve lost 25 lbs and the end is in sight, with 15 more to go. i feel better than i have in years. what i really wanted to thank you for was what you said about running. i do run, because it is a requirement for the job i’m hoping to get. but i’ve known women who’ve lost large amounts of weight as you have: they suddenly go through this weird metamorphosis from normal person to gym junkie, claiming to just loooove running and tofu. well, darn it, i HATE running! and i don’t much care for tofu either! i’ll be glad when i can put away my running shoes and find an activity i actually enjoy, so it’s nice to hear someone else admit they don’t like it either!
I just started this Monday. I am down one pound and feeling great, besides my thighs, they hate me. I keep re-reading your story and telling myself I can do it over and over, that six months from now my life is going to be different. A year from now it will be something completely different. I am excited to say that I too have a lame attempt at a blog but it’s motivating to post things, even if its just me reading it. I plan on stopping by often, but just wanted to let you know, like so many others before me have, you are a true inspiration.
Thank you so much for your discussion of the exercise issue. I have recently lost 42 pounds (from 216) in 8 months after a scare with some health complications due to borderline blood pressure (which is embarrasing to admit, seeing as I am only 25!). As soon as the weight started coming off, the health issues subsided. Running has played a huge role in my weight loss, but I realized a couple of months ago that even with maintaining the same healthy eating habits that I have adopted, as well as running close to 15 miles a week with 1 hour of other cardio on my non-running days, my weight loss had become stagnant. I have also recently completed graduate school and am within the first few months of a career that I have been working towards for 7 years, and as I am getting busier the running is no longer a priority. I could not have come across your blog at a better time, because I have been feeling overwhelming GUILT about not being as faithful to my running as I used to. I enjoy it on the days that I am ready to enjoy it, and I do still intend on working towards running a half marathon in 2012 (I am up to a max distance of 7 miles at a time). But there are days when the thought of dragging myself out the door to hit the pavement after a long day of work makes me want to cry. I feel like I have been the only person out there feeling this way and it embarrased me! After reading your blog, I have the sense that I am not alone, and that I need to find the balance of my newfound healthier lifestyle and my sanity. Thanks for helping me to feel NORMAL!
I love this! My boyfriend is currently trying to loose weight, I find this very inspirational. At the moment he’s kinda loosing hope, hopefully this will get him back on track again. Congrats this is awesome!
I love your blog and your story!! I just fell in love with your account of Rome. My fiance proposed to me in Rome and it was magical. I’d love to spend so much time there. Walking EVERYWHERE was no joke!
Anyway Congratulations on your accomplishment and positive outlook on life! I’m recently down 20lbs in the last two years an have kept it off. Being mindful helps. I’d love to lose another 10 and I think you just gave me the motivation to do so! If you can lose that I can lose another 10! You are also a beautiful writer!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I’m on my own weight loss journey and I find reading yours encouraging. I like that you have love for yourself with or without the weight. That is the way I want to feel.
Here hoping for good things in your future, thanks, Maysha McKie.
I just found your blog on pinterest and I am so glad I stumbled upon it! I am 24 and lost 55 pounds a little over two years ago (and have kept most of it off). And though it wasn’t quite the amount of weight you lost, your story reminded me of mine so much… except I haven’t quite found peace with my weight, with food, or with exercise. I think your blog is going to help me find that… hoping and praying! I love the way you write and you are such an inspiration.
Can’t wait to read more
Ellie
May I also just add that you are a FANTASTIC writer. I read every page (:
So if I really want to lose the weight, I need to move to Italy?
I am sooo hooked on your blog and adore your writing style. You are so REAL. Thank you for including in your writing the little details that we can identify with, the unspoken things we feel, being overweight.
I found your blog through your recipe post on Pinterest for Passion Cookies, which I made for a cookie exchange and WON best cookie!
Keep on with the great (real) writing and encouragement!
My favorite part about this is that it’s realistic. You don’t have to starve yourself or spend ridiculous amounts of time in a gym to get fit. I’m a college student so I understand the real limitations on routine.
“There’s a purposeful nature to eating. It’s mindful, it’s celebrated, it’s an activity done three times per day. No more. No less.”
When I spent a semester abroad in Spain, I noticed this… People there LOVED food, and their life literally centered around daily meals. It’s amazing to think that even though food is such an integral part of their everyday life, there isn’t an obesity epidemic in Europe as there is in the US. I love how you can put into words what I derived from European eating habits. Instead of taking food for granted and abusing it, the mentality in Europe is much different in that they have a distinct passion for food.
Love what you’ve written so far! You have a way of putting ideas into words that many of us feel but are unable to express… Thanks!
[...] CanYouStayForDinner? – My Exercise History [...]
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Enjoyed reading about your experience in Rome and having been there myself, I can totally see how you were able to “walk it off”. I wore out shoes over there and that was just from leisure walking! Everyone walks over in Europe. You don’t have to make yourself excercise like we do in the US. If one just walked more and ate smaller portions, we could all be closer to our goal weights. Congrats, sounds like Rome was a trip of a lifetime for you as well as me.
Thank you for sharing your story! It is truly inspiring! I have lost 191lbs in that last 14 months! I totally can relate to that moment of standing on the scale, and that voice telling you that you will never be able to get this off! I had been overweight my entire life, and as I stood on the scale, deciding whether to continue to eat myself to death, or to finally make that change, I envisioned everything that I had missed out on in my life because of my weight. It was time to make a change! I started my journey at almost 400lbs! I still have a some work to do, but I joined the Y last month and have since become addicted to working out! It really makes a huge difference!
Thanks again for sharing your story! And congratulations on your new life!
I am so happy I found your blog. Thank you so much for honestly sharing your journey. You are such an inspiration!
I’ve lost 150lbs myself and I think it is so great you are putting this kind of positive and inspirational material out there for others to educate themselves with!
Excellent writing and very inspirational. I really need to get it together!
“I saw a number I didn’t think I’d ever see.
135.
One hundred plus thirty plus five.”
This just made me cry. You. ARE. AMAZING.
Thank you.
You are such an inspiration and it is incredible how similar we are! I too spent a semester abroad in Roma and know what you mean about walking EVERYWHERE! I’m so glad you have chosen to speak out and share your story with the world, it inspires me to become a better, happier, and healthier woman! I have a question though, I’m finding it to be a struggle to be in college and to lose weight while still maintaining my social life. I enjoy going out with friends and I love to have a few drinks, but seeing they are so high in caloric content but I love to indulge sometimes. Any advice for a social butterfly trying to lose weight? Thanks so much!
Wow! Thanks for the candid and honest weight loss story. You made me laugh and cry. I too have a good 135lb. to lose and with 20lb gone for good, you have given me a good kick in the patootie to continue on my journey. It is refreshing to hear from someone who has been in my shoes and succeeded with such a large amount of weight to lose. Your inspiring story is a motivation and I look forward to trying your recipes and following your blog!!
You have a truly amazing blog. There are a lot of great blogs out there but your writing style, your story, and your sense of humor have really captured me. I know I will be stopping back here again and again. Thank you for such an inspirational and relatable blog. You are an amazing woman.
I am currently reading your blog whilst sitting in my apartment just off Campo de Fiori in Rome. Essentially just over the river from your tiny gym in Trastevere.
Your blog has really resonated with me. I think because I can hear myself if your words. Especially what you felt like before you lost the weight. The ‘After’ feeling is what I am working towards!
I moved to Rome last August, with intention to start over, be happy, find new people, lose 40 lbs, and practice my Italian. All of that has happened apart from losing the 40 lbs. But I have recently started an exercise regime that has me walking/running half the city 5 times a week and a diet that doesn’t consist of gnocchi, pasta, cornetti etc.
So just wanted to say thank you for making all this hard work a little easier for me! And wish me luck, or ‘in bocca al lupo’ as they say here in Roma.
Congrats on your successes! That is a truly awesome accomplishment! I am currently going through my weight loss journey your story is an inspiration to people that want to loss weight. Thank you for the yummy recipes and inspiration!!!